Derby Night of the Living Dead

This past Saturday was Derby Night of the Living Dead. The Boardwalk Brawlers hosted a double-header in Egg Harbor Township featuring mens derby as well. The New York Shock Exchange battled it out against the Connecticut Death Squad and we took on Harrisburg Area Roller Derby (HARD).

I served as a non-skating official. My job was to record and time penalties for CT during the mens game and for HARD during our game. I sat in a chair directly behind three folding chairs serving as the penalty box. When someone got a one minute penalty I had to start timing their penalty as soon as their ass hit the chair. At thirty seconds, I yelled "30 seconds!", at 50 seconds, I yelled, "10! Stand!" so they could get ready to go back out, and at 60 seconds I yelled, "Done!". Penalties are one minute with the exception of a two-minute penalty. I don't know what it's called but there a few ways to get it. There was one two-minute penalty and the referee skated over to me and told me. There was no other way for me to know.

In addition to timing and yelling, I had to fill out a chart with the period, jam number (I had to keep track of that myself), skater, skater position and the time spent in the box during each jam. Jams are only two minutes long and they are often called off early by the lead jammer if they feel they can no longer score points. It's a strategy to conserve their, and their team's, energy. So penalties are usually served over the course of two jams, if not three in rare cases. When the jam came to an end, I stopped the watch and jotted down the time. I started it again at the whistle of the start of the next jam.

It's fun when you end up with three people in the box because then you get to do quick math. I know, I'm a dork. There's only one stop-watch so you have to write down at which second each person entered the box and then do quick math to make sure everyone gets their fair warning.

I was certainly an unbiased penalty tracker (of course) even though I wanted the opposing teams to win. I was amazed how often I was ignored even though I was screaming the warnings. More often than not no one stood when I told them to stand and they didn't budge when I yelled, "Done!" a foot behind them. I'd be leaning forward tapping them on the shoulder with my pencil yelling "done" and they'd be watching the game like a spectator. I could have let up but didn't. I did my fair amount of pushing and I screamed until my voice was hoarse.

My teammate was tracking penalties for the two home teams, BB and NYSE. She was nervous and lacked confidence in her ability to do the job so I offered to take the away teams thinking she'd be more comfortable with her teammates. That was a very good thing. CT and HARD both tripled the amount of penalties of NYSE and BB. My teammate was very grateful and I liked having something to do. Just to give you an idea, I'd say each team I tracked penalties for had an average of 15 major penalties per 30 minute period. If one member of the team gets four in a period, they are ejected for that period, but allowed to come back for the next. So basically, the opposing teams had an average of fifteen minutes of "power play" time per period. In derby, it's called a power jam.

I had a blast. Even when one of the guys got pissed off and threw all my chairs (he later apologized). We had a great turn-out, great volunteers, and the games were clean and fun and fortunately, no one got hurt other than some rink rash, a few bruises, a twisted ankle and a sprained wrist.

NYSE beat CT by over 100 points. BB and Hard were neck and neck the entire game, but HARD pulled ahead in the last two jams and beat us by 16 points. The final score was BB: 112 HARD: 128.

Back on Wheels

I went to practice last night and this time I dressed and brought all my gear. I was shocked to see five fresh meat at practice and looked forward to coaching them for two hours.

They were an excellent group and I think I did a good job. I gave them my full attention the entire time, something I wish I had been given when I was learning, but there isn't a set person who works with the fresh meat so it was always a little chaotic. We practiced T-stops and did leg strengthening drills for a while. Near the end I had the girls doing knee falls. It was fun being back on skates and again, I didn't miss playing with the girls one bit. In fact, they were being punished for whining too much and had to do torturous falling drills and I couldn't help smiling a little inside.

I was glad I was there to work with the fresh meat and answer all their questions and make them feel welcome. Practice can be fairly intimidating for the newbs and I can see how they may feel unwelcome or like a burden if someone isn't there to work with them because then they either get stuck sitting around or someone has to take time away from coaching the team to coach them. So I was pleased with the role I played and the support I provided. It felt good to get a little exercise again too but I do miss that intense cardio.

Derby Decisions

My brother Doug said it best. I like the idea of roller derby better than I like playing roller derby. He is 100% correct.

Monday night I found myself suffering from my usual Monday night anxiety. An anxiety caused by the fear of attending Wednesday night practice and the pressure of attending Wednesday night practice. This anxiety started about a month ago - when I started practicing and playing with the team - no more kids corner. As of most recently the anxiety was enhanced by the fear of the looming bout on October 18 as well as the threats of additional practice nights. I was doubting my ability, my level of commitment, and consistently afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone else, amongst other things.

This all reared it's big fat ugly head on Monday night on the way home from class in the form of a panic attack. I calmly walked through the door, grabbed a pen and pad and asked Mike to please review a list of pros and cons with me - pros being the reasons to resign from roller derby.

So we talked. And Mike did not want me to quit. He had valid reasons, but he also didn't know what was in my head and Mike is much more of a go-getter than I am. He told me stories of his wrestling days in high school and his band days as an adult and I remained quiet as I wondered what the hell his stories had to do with me quitting roller derby.

I reminded him that I know myself well enough to know that nothing, I repeat nothing, could make me drive forty minutes to practice on a freezing, pitch black Wednesday night in the winter. Come December I'll already have two nights of class a week and I know my commitment to this sport is not forever and why should I continue to suffer this pressure, anxiety, and possible injury to just quit come winter?

The only cons to quitting I could come up with were missing the intense two hour cardio workout and missing the girls. Mike and I butted heads and I finally just decided to call Doug, my go-to guy for great advice.

Talking to Doug was most helpful. We went over the nitty gritty and the annoying facts - like Sunday practice an hour and a half away - resulting in my never getting to watch football. The whole being held accountable by twelve girls at this point in my life. The fear, which Doug said was quite clear to him in my blog posts. We just talked it all over, and although I made my decision before I even spoke to Mike or Doug, I finally felt good about it. I decided I would resign Tuesday morning.

I woke up Tuesday morning with awful anxiety. Fear of resigning I'm sure. I didn't know if the girls were gonna tell me off or if I'd regret my decision (I doubted it). I e-mailed our team President then posted on the team message board that I submitted my resignation and that I just felt that I could not commit to the team at the level expected of its members and I wished everyone and the team the best.

I thought I'd feel better immediately, but I didn't. I was nervous about what kind of response I would get. Then the responses started rolling in and it was a lot of lets work something outs and please don't do this and I'd be missed and then a very lengthy discussion ensued about levels of commitment and should there be two tiers for members. I sat back saying nothing watching this all unfold. The whole two tiers thing I knew would not fly. It's completely unfair to the full-time committed members who bust their ass week after week and drive all over the place going to practices. That's one of the reasons I resigned - I felt shitty doing this thing half-assed and I knew down the road I'd get shit for it.

So all this unfolded and still no word from the President. It was like an argument amongst children and I was just silently waiting for Mommy to chime in. And then she did.

I admit I was shocked and relieved instantaneously. She told me she understood and respected my decision and would I be interested in helping out the team at the bout and at some practices and events when I could? I felt amazing. So basically, could I still be a part of the team, not have to worry about going to every practice, not have to worry about bouting and getting hurt, and help out the team which I love anyway? Hell yeah!

Then some of the other girls started asking me the same thing. Then I learned that derby teams do have support staff and ours doesn't and that we need people like me. Someone even suggested I learn how to ref which in my opinion is a pretty cool thing to do. Remaining on the team in this new role seemed to make perfect sense to me.

So I went to practice Wednesday in flip flops instead of skates and blew my whistle and reviewed all the rules in more detail and did whatever was needed of me. No one gave me any shit and it was as if nothing changed at all. And let me tell you with one hundred percent certainty, not once did I miss not practicing with those girls. If anything, I felt relief - especially when they were doing their hitting drills.

At the end of the night I only missed not getting in a good workout. But I'm going to dress for now on and bring my skates so that I can help out in that fashion as well so I'm sure my days of playing the game are not over - but I imagine the pressure will no longer be there as I'll only be playing to help better my team and not myself.

Overall, I couldn't be happier with how everything turned out.

A half-assed update

My legs, ankles and feet are very sore from practice last night. I don't sleep well on Wednesdays and Thursdays are a pretty rough day for me as a result. Last night my legs and feet felt like cement under my blanket preventing me from sleeping along with the fact that I kept replaying practice in my head.

It was a good endurance practice. I went running Tuesday in an effort to build up my endurance and also because I still really want to do a 5K. I hadn't jogged in ages so I wasn't surprised that my mile time slipped an entire minute. I didn't realize I'd be so sore yesterday from the run so I went to practice sore to begin with. But anyway, endurance wise, it was a great practice. I can see and feel myself improving in that department.

The actual scrimmaging part of practice sucked. I played like crap. But coach had me jam a few times which makes me wonder if he's singling me out to be a jammer. I sucked across the board and was disappointed in myself. I am downright scared of one of the girls on my team. She hits like a brick wall and is as impenetrable as one. She's a little on the larger side but she's the fastest girl on the team. When I was jamming, I would stay behind her and wait for one of my blockers to engage her then I'd sprint ahead of her and she'd be next to me a half second later. It was so frustrating on so many levels. Also, last night we played four on the whole team. It was overwhelming having so many people out to get you instead of the usual five. It was more like nine on four.

But I'm looking forward to going jogging again tomorrow assuming I can move my legs without limping. I think it will really help me out at practice.

My 300th Post

There I was. Down on one knee, shaking from head to toe, my heart hammering in my chest, sweat dripping down my face and back. This is not the opening to a marriage proposal story. On the contrary, I had just taken a spill, got called on a major, skated over to the penalty box and taken a knee. The combination of adrenaline, fear, and pressure is lethal.

Last night’s practice was good but also a blur. Pace drills, hitting drills, and scrimmaging. The pace drills nearly killed me. I thought my heart would beat right out of my face. The hitting drills rocked me to the core but I never fell. One or two times my neck snapped and my brain rattled in my skull. The pain in my head was ferocious. Not only from the jostling, but also from the biting down every time I took or gave a hit. My jaw was sending pain up the sides of my face and into my skull. Coach Cliff told me I was taking hits more than giving them. I think he was right, although damn, can I take a hit! The very next time I was up I really put my body into it and I landed a mean hit! Cliff just smiled and nodded. The pain to myself was drastically reduced which was encouraging.

After what felt like hours of abuse, we scrimmaged. Miss Trial, the ref for the Philly Roller girls, came to our practice to help us out. She forced us to play by the rules as if it were a real game which was awesome for us because we usually let so much slide.

There were two more firsts for me last night. One, I fell and I’m glad. Two or three times I fell – I can’t remember. Two, I played jammer. Three times. I can’t tell you anything about falling. You sort of black out for a second and before you know it you’re on your feet (skates rather). I’ve said once before I’ve never in my life played a team sport so all these insane “emotions” are all new to me. This adrenaline, in particular, is all new to me. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I’ve never pushed myself this way. It’s a cocktail of adrenaline, fear and pressure and once consumed, you’re drunk on it.

I got called on a major or two for cutting the track. That means I passed someone out of bounds. It wasn’t deliberate and it hardly ever is. We’re supposed to be in control of ourselves at all times so accidents don’t matter.

Now lets talk about jamming. Jamming is f’n scary because you’re the target. Everyone on the opposing team is out to stop you by any means possible. I jammed three times. The first time I jammed, I can honestly say I did very well and I am smiling as I say that. Once the whistle blew twice it was time to hustle and catch the pack. Coach Chris was on my right coaching me. “Now look for the hole. Look for it. There it is. GO! GO! GO!” I skated through that pack weaving inside and out and my girls were kicking ass helping me out. But up front, I hit a wall. I could not get around it no matter how hard I tried and I was scared to do anything extreme. I stuck to their asses and waited for help and it never came. I heard people yelling that I needed help and that my blockers better get their asses to the front but before I knew it, the whistle blew four times signaling the end of the jam. I was spent. Coach seemed a little pissed with my blockers and he pulled them aside and told them what they could have done better.

I don’t remember the other two times very well. I think I spent one minute in the box for one of my two-minute jams and I think I fell the other time and just skated around like a fool. I went from good to horrendous.

The highlight of the night though was this. I was playing blocker. The black team’s jammer was on the inside line. Directly beside her was a black blocker, then directly beside her was me. I quickly thought to myself that if I hit the blocker, she’d fall into her jammer and they’d both fall down. I did it – I hit her – and my plan worked flawlessly. I felt really bad because the blocker I hit was a newbie just like me and I apologized later. But at least I finally did something that mattered.

By the end of the night I was spent and had a headache not so far off from that of a migraine. I could barely stretch. I told Hell Kat I didn’t feel comfortable scrimmaging next week in Newark against the Garden State Roller Girls and she said that was fine. I’ll go and observe and watch instead. I’m comfortable with my decision. Granted I am missing the opportunity to play with strangers before the October 18th bout but I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. I rather get a few more weeks of practice in. The girls next week won’t know me from Adam and they’ll assume I’m a veteran. I’m not ready to play that way yet.

Overall, it was a good night and I feel fine this morning. My upper arms are a little sore from all the hitting and I’m tired because I had trouble sleeping after all the emotions I experienced. On a more positive note, my name is registered and last night was the first time I got to wear my name. Half the team calls me J.D. and the other half calls me Killinger. I really like both and it was fun hearing people yell the names.

I’m not going to practice Sunday and I’m not playing next Wednesday. Last night Mike could tell I was a little frustrated so he asked me how he can help me. Sunday we’re going to the roller hockey rink and he’s going to run around and let me skate into him and try to knock him down. That should be fun! This way I won’t be rusty by the time I skate again.

Kick Ass Practice!

Last night's derby practice was awesome and totally boosted my confidence! Right from the start Coach had us fresh meat in with the team doing drills. We first skated in a super tight pack which helped to ease my fear of skating in a super tight pack! I didn't fall but I made a girl behind me fall and I felt bad. I guess I jutted my skate back too far on a push off and she hit it and went down.

Then we played three on three mini scrimmages and I was very, very nervous. But again it just totally boosted my confidence. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I was on the track skating in a pack, looking all around trying to follow what was going on while trying not to get hurt and not to crash into any down bodies. I did take my first hit though. Ivanna (I'll never forget her) came up beside me and totally caught me off guard and gave me a nice hit to the shoulder and I instinctively turned and apologized (as if I got in her way). D'oh! She started laughing and assured me she did it on purpose.

Then we moved on to hitting drills which Coach wouldn't let us do at first. So we watched. And then we practiced on each other and joined the group and did some different hitting drills where we skated the length of the rink on opposite sides coming together for one good hard hit at three specified spots on the rink. So basically: skate, BAM, skate, BAM, skate, BAM, and back to the end of the line.

THEN.....

THEN.....

Coach had us fresh meat sit down because he didn't want us scrimmaging. I was relieved. Then a minute later he had us get back up and stand with the rest of girls. Then he split us all up into two teams. My first scrimmage! (I was so nervous - I hope no one saw me shaking.) I took the number two position for my first jam. My heart was racing and then the whistle blew and well; it's kind of like driving in traffic, as silly as that sounds. You don't really think. Suddenly the discomfort of my mouth guard was no longer existent, my location on the track didn't matter. You just skate and look all around you and there are so many things going through your head but in a way your mind is blank because you just know what to do and leave it up to adrenaline and instinct. I can't explain it well.

I did good. At least I think I did good. I kept up with the pack about 90% of the time and when I lost it I hauled ass to catch up. I know I had two or three good blocks. I didn't hit anyone - I tried, but couldn't land anything - but I did manage to push one blocker out of bounds and something else I did I knew was really good but I can't remember. Someone even yelled, "Nice, Jessica!" It was really really fun. I had a blast!

I skated in three to five jams. You lose track - it's all adrenaline. I never played pivot or jammer, just a blocker in the number two or three position. I'm not ready (scared) to jam. I'm also still afraid of falling. Somehow I managed not to fall once all night. Very good, but also bad. I know I need to have a good fall for me to realize it's not so bad (hopefully it won't be). I also need to figure out how the hell to talk when you have a giant piece of rubber in your mouth! *Note to self, watch girls and see if they take out their mouth guards for a few seconds to yell to their teammates. Is there some trick I don't know? I also need to stop friggin apologizing! - it's instinctual. Sister reminded we all know why we're here so there's no need to apologize. She said she did that a lot when she first started and Coach made her do twenty push ups every time she said she was sorry and that helped her kick the habit really quickly. I assured her I'll work on it.

Before practice I would have never thought I'd be ready for the September 24 scrimmage against the GSRG, but now I think there's a good possibility I could do it. Maybe I will even skate at the October 18 bout. It's not really up to me, but it does seem a little more realistic now.

I think next week I may be "officially" on the team. Team Pres gave me my orientation packet last night with the forms I need to fill out, bylaws, and GIANT TEAM STICKER for my helmet. Who needs bylaws when you have a giant sticker! I'm stoked to register my name so I can start using it.

Any doubts I had earlier in the week simply washed away last night. And all the fund raising events are coming together. It felt overwhelming earlier in the week but other than one crazy week in September (with three events in one week) it is quite manageable and my excitement is renewed.

It was an awesome practice and I feel great today - no soreness at all.

What a Twist

In an interesting turn of events my stepmother called me last night to ask if she could hang out at my place while her kids were at a Jonas Bros. concert tonight in nearby Camden. I decided to be a nice person and say sure resulting in my having to blow off practice.

Last night I dreamed of being kicked off the team for it. Last week Coach said Wednesday practices are mandatory and if we don't show up, we don't skate. I'm not usually a smart-ass, but what does that mean? We don't skate ever again? The following week when we show up? At the next bout?

I have no idea what it meant and apparently no one took him too serious because practice was cancelled at 2:44 since so many people couldn't make it. Luckily for me, I don't have anymore anxiety about missing anything.

Holden's kid sister liked to roller skate in Central Park

The past week has gone by in a flash and I'm rather enjoying the chaos as it is a nice change from the usual boredom. Tonight all I have to do is get all my gear - helmet, pads, mouthguard. Saturday was my first derby bout and I've decided to stick with it.

The bout was a good experience. We were awful and we called the game in the second period after S.S. got knocked out and had to go to the E.R. That sucked. Thankfully, she's fine. But it was good experience nonetheless and I can handle bruises and soreness. At least I think I can. I'm looking forward to practice tomorrow.

Oh and I finally picked my name (and it is available) so I feel fairly official now.

J.D. Killinger

If you don't catch the reference, then shame on you.

Getting my ass kicked!

I am really hurting today. In fact, I had trouble getting out of my car last night; that's how quickly the soreness of last night's derby practice moved in.

I have never done a team sport before. I have never really tried to do my best at anything athletic - it either came naturally and I was good at it or I did it under my own discipline and quit or gave up or just simply never really improved because I didn't have the drive to really work at it. I often wished I had someone (like a drill instructor) push me and make me go further and faster, etc. But I don't so I tend to quit when it hurts or when I get too tired.

Last night was totally different. I want to learn this sport and I want to be good at it. There are people telling you what to do and they're watching you closely so the pressure is on. Last night was Coach's first practice back from a two week vacation and he spent almost the entire time teaching us newbies how to fall. And fall we did. Over and over for almost two hours. On our right knee, on our left knee, on both knees (scary), on our right knee and spinning into a 180, on our left knee and spinning into a 180, and the same on right and left when you just touchdown and get back up and keep skating. Over and over we fell.

It was very scary at first I admit. The double knee falls are the worst. You're just skating along and then, Bam, you drop to your knees. The first time I tried it I panicked at the last second and fell on my ass instead of my knees. I messed up quite a few times actually but overall, I felt good about my performance. I asked questions, I paid close attention, I practiced a lot and I asked for do-overs when I really felt I screwed up. I need to remember not to put my hands down on the ground so that they don't get run over but I think I really only started doing that when I was near exhaustion.

I was spent! I was dripping from head to toe in F.V.'s helmet, pads and skates and got progressively worse as the night went on. Getting up from falling a hundred times was worse than falling a hundred times. My thighs were just shutting down and they didn't want to work anymore and I felt myself becoming confused and I just got sloppy near the end.

We were told to join the team at the end for their final workout. It was fun skating with the girls and we did drills with them for a few minutes then stretched out as a group. Afterwards there was some talk about strategy and it was interesting to listen to. I'm really looking forward to watching the bout Saturday and I'm getting my pads Friday night. I don't think the bout can change my mind at this point. I'm in.

Be there or be stupid

Recovered

I had an excellent four days off from work, two and a half of which I spent in Ocean City, MD with Kelly. I had a great time and relaxed at the beach and laughed a lot. Sitting on the beach with Kelly b.s.ing and laughing made me realize just how long it's been since I've spent more than a day or so with a female friend. It's been a very long time and I really enjoyed myself. Girls rock! Not to mention it was nice to get away. I slept very well.

I feel well rested now and we are experiencing the most amazing weather: sunny, mid to high seventies, no humidity, there's even a hint of an autumn breeze. Yesterday I threw on a hoodie and sat out on the deck and read while enjoying a chai tea. It was marvelous.

Now Where to Begin

It's now calm after the storm and Mike and I are both very tired. It was a hectic and fun weekend - a roller coaster ride of ups and lulls, but no downs. Last night we were hoping to catch our seventh and eighth winds so that we could make it home in one piece. I met David for lunch today so I could tell him about my ring and now there are only stragglers and strangers to tell for the most part. Oh, and the friends who haven't returned my phone calls. The rest I'm leaving up to the game of telephone, word of mouth and a Myspace page blog post.

So basically, the weekend went something like this:

Friday night: drinks, monopoly, laughing

Saturday: Heavy duty cleaning! I did suspect Sunday may be the day and I knew that would mean that organization and staying ahead of the game would be crucial to a stress free celebration. I made meatballs so we had a ready-made dinner for later in the week and the house was more or less spotless. And mom always said clean sheets are the best for holidays and special occasions so not only did I change the sheets but I cleaned the mattress cover as well and I gave the mattress a much needed turn.

Saturday night: Mike and I headed out to High Velocity in Beechwood to meet up with some of the Boardwalk Brawlers for a fundraiser/promotional thing. Mike met four of my future teammates and I got a chance to get to know a few of the girls better and to get some additional information and to ask questions. I'm really glad I went. Here's a picture in which I look AWFUL. If I look over excited to be asked to be in the photo, I was.



Sunday Mike and I got up by 7:30 to get ready to head down to Cape May. We had breakfast at our favorite place, the Mad Batter, and then headed over to the Point. Getting around in Cape May is so easy - I just love going there.

Soon after I was settled in my beach chair and started reading Mike proposed and it was great! It happened very fast and afterwards we went about our day at the beach and had a blast and I had something to look at all day and calls to make and it was all very nice. I found the perfect rock to take home as a memento and to write the date on. We laughed and waved at one another and stole kisses in the surf and I couldn't have asked for a better day. And it wasn't even half over yet!

We got home around 4:00 or so and it was time to get ready for our 6:00 dinner reservation at Blackbird as part of Collingswood restaurant week. We notified the Maitre d' that we had gotten engaged and could we please have a romantic table. We were then provided with the best dining experience of our lives. It was the best meal we've ever eaten and the best service we've ever received - the experience was spectacular and we were very grateful. Blackbird helped to end the night of our engagement on a most glorious note so we wrote the owner and head chef a letter yesterday to thank him again and to let him know just how well his staff treated us and just how wonderful his food was and just how much they all added to our special day.

For all you foodies out there, this is what we ordered.

Course One:

I ordered the handmade potato gnocchi in a tomato basil cream sauce with parmesan and mozzarella. Mike ordered the same but added the optional fresh jumbo lump crab. It was a heavy dish but very nice. The portion size was slightly too large for a first course and I did not finish it.

Course Two:

I had been looking forward to this since we made our reservation. Finally after years of watching Top Chef and Iron Chef, I was going to taste my first confit! I ordered the crispy confit of free range chicken with sweet pea risotto and jus de poulet (my first demi glace). I also ordered the optional additional seared breast of chicken. The dish was to die for and I am not exaggerating. The skin on the confit was so crisp and the chicken flavor was so intense and the meat was so moist - it was an amazing experience in my mouth. I had also been looking forward to the risotto and it too was delicious - the cream just melted off the rice in my mouth and made me smile every time I had some.

Mike ordered the pan seared Chilean sea bass with artichoke and olive fregola sarda (a toasted breadcrumb-like pasta from the island of Sardinia). He also ordered the optional additional Prince Edward Island mussels. Mike's been really getting into seafood lately and he just loved his dish as well.

Course Three:

For dessert we both ordered the arborio rice pudding and I added on the polenta cookies which had a lovely hint of lemon. Our server brought out our dessert on one dish with a small candle and said they don't usually do it that way but that they thought we'd enjoy it. It was lovely.

Between the wine, the Rogue, the meal and the cappuccinos we were stuffed to a maximum and I mean it when we say it was the best meal we've ever had.

Here's a photo from the evening (our big debut):


Monday it was time for us to head back to work. Mike's parents were more or less the only ones who had not yet known about the engagement. We knew Mike's mom wanted an in-person announcement so we decided we would accommodate her. I wrote her an e-mail saying hello and that we wanted to hear about her weekend - would she be home tonight? Yes.

We headed up north to see my mom first who already knew about our engagement as she was the first person I called. We pulled up to the house at the same time and she got out of the car singing a made up song (I think) about how her daughter was getting married. We showed her the ring and had some pizza. It was loud, hectic, and rushed - the way I like it at mom's house. But time slipped away from me and we had to go. We made it over to Mike's parents house and his mom's truck wasn't there. That suuuucked. So Mike called his dad to see where she was and he said she'd be home at 9:00. Ouch. We were basically stranded as Mike didn't want to go back to my mom's so we decided to call Rudy and see if we could kill some time at his place. He was happy to accommodate us so that actually worked out really well because we all got to hang out for a little bit and I got to show off my ring some more and talk about roller derby some more and the guys got to catch up and talk about their cars.

Around 8:40 Mike's mom called and said she was home so Mike said he'd call her back in five minutes and we left Rudy's to go surprise his parents. We rang the doorbell and Mike's dad answered and yelled to his mom that Michael was at the door. I walked in the house and his mom walked into the room and she knew immediately. She started screaming and crying and jumping up and down and grabbed us both and confessed her love and happiness and thanked us profusely for the joy we had brought in to her family. Mike and I just laughed, but it was all very sweet. Then she grabbed us and ran us over to the speaker phone where she proceeded to call her brother and best friend who both live in Florida and we gave them the news. Then we all sat down and talked for an hour or so about all different stuff including our plans and she regularly interrupted the conversation to give us hugs and kisses. I couldn't have asked for it to have gone any better.

By the time we left I was dozing. Getting excited so many times just wiped me out. It was a wonderful weekend. All that's left is to get my big brother Doug on the phone who is traveling. I left him a message shortly after Mike proposed on Sunday and gave him the news and he left me a message Monday night congratulating us and saying he had news of his own. I missed his call a little while ago and tried to get him but couldn't. At times like this I miss him very much.

So next is the engagement party (which has been planned for a few weeks. ;-) ) and then on to planning our wedding. Mike is so wonderful. He takes all my excitement in stride and asks so little. I rattle off all the things that have to be done and he simply asks for reminders and an itinerary (his words not mine). I couldn't have hoped for a better husband.

*Addendum: Doug and I finally got in touch this evening and now I feel complete knowing how happy and supportive he is for us. His news was BIG, but more about that another time. Mike had shown him the ring when he was out visiting back in June so he's known for a while but now that it's all happening, hearing him congratulate us was the icing on the cake.

Derby Practice II

Kelly and I rolled up (in our cars) to the skating rink in Hammonton last night at 8:30 for our second roller derby practice. We donned our skates and hit the rink to warm up a little and M, a Philly Roller Girl (from the big leagues!), informed us she comes to help out once in a while and she thought she'd show us some moves and get us learning some basic skills. It was a lot of fun learning the techniques and practicing the different ways to stop and skating in the opposite direction. Not backwards, but counter-clockwise. It's really really difficult. But Miranda was adamant that taking time to practice skating counter-clockwise was crucial to balance muscle development and prevent any future complications. It's really challenging.

So me, Kelly, and H, the third piece of fresh meat that returned after the initial interest meeting two weeks ago, skated around and practiced for 45 minutes or so and worked up a mean sweat then sat to watch the girls scrimmage. M was awesome and she really seemed to know her shit. The girls are gearing up for their rematch against the Sisters of Mayhem August 16 so there was definitely a sense of seriousness and focused practice - something that seemed lacking at the initial interest meeting practice. Then again, there were a lot of people at practice that day.

Overall, it was a lot of fun and I'm still really interested. I do believe that things happen for a reason and I decided last week I'd make a decision as to whether or not I take this seriously after I see the match August 16. Ironically, I learned I get a bonus August 15. My bonus can buy skates. Coincidence?

So I guess I must be interested, especially after I agreed to do what I'm going to do Saturday night. After practice there was an announcement that a bar (that happens to be a sponsor I think), advertised that roller girls would be there Saturday night hanging out. Coach agreed to this but in the excitement of the imminent rematch, I guess it kind of was forgotten? So anyway, hardly any of the girls could go and we were reminded how important this is and how we must be there and blah blah blah. Then Assistant Coach turned to me, Kelly and H and asked if we'd go. My first thought was that I'm not even on the team and my second thought was that my going might make me look pretty good, which lets face it, isn't a bad thing. So Assistant Coach rolled over and told me what I'd have to do (dress up for one, in the team colors, and mingle.) Sounds easy enough. I got some more information and exchanged e-mail addresses with one of the other girls that will be going and headed home.

Unfortunately once I got in the car I was able to think it over more and then realized I don't know exactly how to feel about it. I didn't know promos and guest appearances would be involved and strutting around in a costume like a Coors girl isn't really my scene. But on the other hand, being a roller girl, I guess, is like being a character. It's acting. I can act.

So I went home and talked to Mike and he totally surprised me because he one hundred percent understood! He compared it to his band days and his only negative commentary was that "The star players should be there!" Do we have star players? "Your being there is like going to a Metallica signing and getting your CD signed by the roadie." I love Mike. He knew about the sponsors and the this and the that and he even asked me about what I was going to wear and he said they better give me a team shirt so everyone knows who I am. I reminded him I'll be in leggings, a mini skirt and a hot pink shirt - I think people will know who I am.

So I decided to push my luck and ask if he'd accompany me and he actually agreed! I told him that I didn't know how it would be and I didn't know if I could really hang around him and he was totally cool about it and just told me not to let guys buy me shots because we have to get up early Sunday morning.

So Saturday night is my first public appearance as a roller girl. In a bar I've never been to. With girls who I doubt I'll even be able to recognize (luckily, the pink and black should give them away) and whose names I don't know.

Thank goodness for Mike.

Back to normal

I am now fully recovered from last week's hellish work week and I am pleased to say I made my deadline and made it out on Friday intact although exhausted.

This week's looking up after the past few very chaotic weeks. I have one goal essentially for this week and that is to register for classes. I spent some time this morning deciding on a class, location and time so that's all set. Now I just have to pay for it. I'll be taking Child Psychology Monday nights. I'm actually really looking forward to it after all the history I've been taking. After some real consideration I decided to only take one class this fall. October through December are very busy months for me and after mulling it all over I decided to take the easier road with a promise to myself that I would take two classes again in the winter.

I t looks like Wednesdays will now be devoted to Roller Derby practice. Maybe. Most likely. Maybe.

Kelly invited me to tag along with her to the Boardwalk Brawlers practice last week and we both enjoyed ourselves and are interested in possibly trying out for/joining the team. I will give myself a month to make a decision. The pros are obvious: making new friends, exercise, getting to tell people I'm on a roller derby team, getting to wear fishnets. The cons are also obvious: time commitment, $$$ ($45/month dues plus equipment), PAIN, chance of breaking bones. Not to mention my preferred skate name, Rumbelina, is already taken! Apparently these names have to be registered with the National Roller Derby Association. No wonder the names of the girls on the team give the impression that they've been scraped from the bottom of a barrel.

I'll keep you posted on all the fun.

Mike is doing quite well. We're enjoying ourselves and handling the stress of the past few weeks like a good team. Yeah, we're good sports. Maybe we'll toss around a football tonight at the park or in our freshly mowed lawn. Did you hear Shockey got traded to the Saints? He did.