Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Summer Lovin' #1

There is something so wonderfully comfortable about that first night's sleep of the season in an air conditioned room. It's a perfect temperature requiring your favorite blanket, the constant humming sound blocks out the restlessness of the city below your pillow and just sings you to sleep and you awaken refreshed and ready for a hot shower.

Never will I take those nights for granted.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Picture post 1 of 2

The birthday girl sitting on her soon to be no longer front steps in Philly.
(The day before my birthday.)

And where would a birthday gal be without her man?

Any gelati you have to hold with two hands is alright in my book

Me and my baby Monkeys, Marcy and Lou, blowing out the candles at 11:00 pm on my birthday (Mom would kill me if I posted a picture of her.)One helluva upgrade

Marla Singer

Helena Bonham Carter has just been cast to play the role of Bellatrix LeStrange in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. You know Bellatrix, right? She finishes off that guy in that final battle at that place in Book 5.

She's a murderer, a Death Eater, and her acts in Book 5 brought me to tears. Bitch.

But I must say I am thrilled now that I know who Helena Bonham Carter is.

Marla f'n Singer. I love that character in Fight Club. Apparently, she also was the Corpse Bride and Charlie's mom in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory (the one with Johnny Depp).

The original actress cast to play Bellatrix (Helen McCrory) is pregnant and will be very pregnant when they need her the most.

I like seeing folk I recognize in the HP movies. Ralph Fiennes as Voldemort in Goblet of Fire was outstanding.

That scene was downright scary. (Ralph Fiennes played Dolarhyde in Red Dragon amongst a million others.)

July 2007.

My Mom rocks PERIOD

Okay, so a major picture post is coming tonight before I head out for the long weekend.

Mom really came through and made me proud and was most certainly proud of herself in a very cute and adorable I'm a big girl now type way.

Mom called me three quarters of the way here yesterday boasting how she was driving 75 mph and in the left lane. "That's great, ma, but you might want to drive in the center where you're less likely to get a ticket."

I started to get nervous when 35 minutes had passed since her call and started calling. I finally got her when she was about to pull into my street. I'll be damned if that woman didn't manage to find a dollar store a mile from my house and pop in for party hats and a few other misc. items only a decent dollar store could provide. She makes me laugh.

I was grateful to have met some neighbors yesterday. The folks across the street are great and the young engaged couple next door with the impeccably maintained lawn seem nice as well. Mom met the older folk and blah blah blah. I've stopped getting embarassed of my mother most of the time. Now, I just let her talk. Like a horny dog, sometimes it's best to just let her finish.

We hung out at the house and unloaded her car. Hysterical. Only my mom could go somewhere for one night and require three trips be made into the house to get all her crap. I got an iron for my birthday so I'm happy. I needed one. She brought wine (and lemon-lime soda to make a "spritzer") and chips and dips (which we never got to) and variety cheesecake and an extension cord in case there was no outlet near the bed for her alarm clock and her God Bear which she sleeps with and pillows and a blanket and water and......

That's my mom. It was different last night though. I was just so proud of her for starting to be bold and take what she considers to be risks and just her gift of coming down to see me for my birthday was an amazing one. You may be thinking, "what the hell's the big deal?" Believe me, it's a big deal. Major preparation went into this on her side and she put her mind to it and she did it. She told my step dad she was going, she made him dinner the night before, and yeah, she had to do a million things the average married woman wouldn't/shouldn't have to do, but she does and she did it.

Haha. I took my mom to Philly to see where I've been living the past 21 months and she looked around and poked and prodded and picked up and set down my posessions as if she was at a flea market. "Oooooh, look at this. I like this. If you don't want this in the new place, may I have it?"

And in typical mom style, even in a brand new to her place, she still tried conversing with me from halfway across the house, while I was peeing no less. If she's one thing, she's consistent.

So then we went to a diner. The same diner we ate at four years ago under very bad circumstances. Mom marveled at my progress and how I've come full circle and then we enjoyed a big deep fried American diner meal.

We ended the night with me being sang Happy Birthday with a candle in a slice of turtle cheesecake and a "spritzer". We bullshitted and prayed together and fell asleep.

This morning was also enjoyable. I woke up at 4:40 am to "Jess, where's the coffee filters?"

Watching my mom drive away this morning, I didn't feel my usual fear or heart-ache. Leaving my mom can be very hard on me. I hate leaving her because I know too well what she goes home to. But today was different, I just felt so proud of her. As corny as it sounds, it was like my little girl was growing up.

My mom wants to start giving her three children happy memories. I'd say with the trip to Washington earlier this month and my birthday slumber party, she's off to a hella good start. Now she just needs to plan something for my other brother's visit in July.

Thanks, ma.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


It's my birthday. 24 on the 24th!

I'll post a birthday picture post. I have so many pictures to post. But I really will.

Mike came down yesterday and took me to dinner and for a giant gelati. We then watched King Kong because we rented it over the weekend and didn't get a chance to watch it. I had never seen the original. I liked it. The dinosaur scenes could have been trimmed down and that bug scene left me feeling 'buggy' for about ten minutes and I found it funny that Naomi Watts had about ten lines in that entire movie but Kong looked amazing and the acting was solid (mostly due to intense body language and facial expressions.) Overall, it has my approval. I don't necessarily think it has a lot of replay value though and I'm all about the replay value. This is coming from a girl who has watched half her dvd collection over thirty times.

So last night was low key. Mom's coming down right after work and I'll run her over to Philly. She said this morning she rather not go due to time constraints, but oh well, now we have to because I left some things there assuming I'd be back to the house later tonight. And it's my turn to take out the garbage.

So I'm excited. We'll see how the day roles.

Next post: Pictures!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Don't feel bad, Professor

Patrick Stewart, who plays Professor Charles Xavier in the X-Men movie series, lamented at a Cannes Film Festival press conference recently that he hasn't been asked to be in the Harry Potter films.
"Every single actor over 60 in England is in the Harry Potter movies," he replied when asked if he wanted to continue doing fantasy films. "I am still smarting from the fact that Ian McKellen starred in Lord of the Rings and apparently there was no part in it for me."
Prior to the X-Men films, Stewart was best known for his role as Jean-Luc Picard in the television series Star Trek: The Next Generation.
X-Men: The Last Stand opens in theatres this weekend.

Professor, I hoped so very very much that Ian McKeller would play Albus Dumbledore when the original actor passed away. I was so sad.

You both belong in Harry Potter and there are still two more movies to make so cross your fingers.....

P.S. I think you are both very handsome.

P.S.S. I can't wait to see The Last Stand

P.S.S.S. - Well, hey, who are you to complain. Every single AMERICAN has been banned from being in the films. How do you like that? You don't see me bitching and moaning.

(Probably because I'm secretly ecstatic Rowling forbade any Americans from acting in the movies. You go UK! Keep on shining!!)

Monday, May 22, 2006


The painting is officialy 93% done. Just a second coat needed on some doors and some trim in the master bedroom and we are all set. The carpets need to be cleaned, the seven inches of dust needs to be cleaned off the ceiling fans, every window needs a screen, and then the windows need to be washed and bam, we're moving in!

I almost can't believe how much we got done this weekend. We had a lot of fun, our share of sighs, some second and third winds were caught and we lost all concept of time. It was fun overall.

I'll be going back Wednesday on my birthday to meet my mom there before taking her to see for the first time where I've been living the past 21 months. It's a mess and we're all moving out so she won't get the full effect but she'll finally get an idea nonetheless.

Yep, Wednesday I'm the birfday girl and I'm spending it with momma dukes. She felt bad for me. You see, Mike proposed we celebrate Tuesday so he can pick me up at work and have the whole night together instead of getting here at 7:30 Wednesday night. I said that was fine. But then later on, talking to ma, I realized Wednesday night will be terribly depressing sitting in Philly all alone with no one to hang with. That's when mom came to the rescue. Believe me, driving an hour straight from work on a weekday no less is a HUGE step for my mom. She said she'd start making baby steps towards her new life 24 years to the day she gave birth to her youngest child. Hey, better late than never!

So we'll just hang out and chat and drink coffee.


Ok, so I've chatted a bit more with the lady downstairs. the daughter's got ADHD which I knew the second I looked at her. Her black stepson isn't really her stepson but her boyfriend's son who doesn't like his mom or living with his dad so he lives with Nancy (lady downstairs.)

Mike was there last week when I was at work and the kids were acting like animals and Mike peeked out to see what was going on and Nancy said, "Kids, stop acting like animals!" About the basketball, Mike pulled his car all the way up the drive and overheard one of the kids bitch about not being able to play b-ball and Nancy said, "Well, you're not supposed to be over there anyway."

So, things seem pretty tame now. Nancy also told Mike and I to yell at the kids if they piss us off. I would never yell at them but I welcomed the authorization. So I tried it out to be sure. Sabrina (ADHD) threw a stick and it landed a few inches from Mike's car while we were all outside talking so I said, "Sabrina, honey, please don't throw anything in the driveway near the cars or windows." Her mom said, "What did you throw?" Sabrina said, "A stick." Nancy said, "Don't do that."

Yeah, it'll be fine. We can yell at the kids and they've been pretty quiet anyway. It's so nice to Know Nancy is a rational person.

Lots of pictures are coming........

Friday, May 19, 2006

UTI from hell

You know that scene in the Green Mile when Tom Hanks aka Boss has a urinary tract infection and he collapses to the ground clutching his groin sweating bullets? Yeah, that's me. Except I don't have a groin nor am I Tom Hanks.

Two Novembers ago I ended up in the E.R. because of this. Now all I can do is breathe while I pee, and then sweat it out leaning against the bathroom door clutching myself like a five year old girl who needs to pee really bad while I moan and silently pray for the pain to stop. I'm fine eight minutes later until I start to feel like I have to pee again. Then repeat process. I have seven days of this to go until I can see my urologist.

Mike and I slept at the house last night. It was pretty bad. Thank God he was there or I would have left half way through my discomfort. Screens are missing from our windows so we couldn't open many windows and it was itchy from the several inches of construction dust everywhere. Yeah, supposively my carpets were cleaned. 'I did them myself', said my landlord. I vacuumed one area of the living room last night where we were going to sleep and I sucked up four inches of thick, tan colored dust from said clean carpet. My patience is wearing.

Showering this morning took twice as long as usual because the water pressure and the shower head are so awful. We all wipe our noses in the shower. The water didn't even get that crap off my hand. I don't know how I got all the soap off me and out of my hair. The head just kind of spat at me for half an hour.

Other than that, things are shaping up. I'm leaving work early today and making Mike take me to Lowe's for screens and a shower head.

Yeah, I'm pretty damn miserable. Thank God for Mike and his optimism and his ability to prevent me from breakdowns or cursing fits or crying jags. Yes, Mike is good. To date, not one tear has been shed in new home.

I'm getting wasted tonight. I'll sleep great because I plan to pass out. Housework should be fun. This I am excited for.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I loaded up the car yesterday and drove to the house, pulled into the driveway, pulled the E brake, released it and then went straight back to Philadelphia. I forgot my new house keys.

Got back to the house again and started unloading the car. The tv table I was carrying pushed the panic button on my key ring in my pocket so I fumbled with the table, got the keys out of my pocket and started mashing buttons until the alarm went off. I threw the keys in the trunk and continued to unload. When I was all done I shut the trunk.

Yeah. I locked my keys in the car. So I called AAA. Thank you, dear Mother, who still unwaiveringly continues to supply her two younger children with AAA. I know my brother out in Colorado has used it at least once since getting out there. I know most of my careless friends have benefited from my membership a few times as well over the years.

I lost a lot of time yesterday but I accomplished most of what I wanted to and now my bathroom is clean and I finally like it. One piece of advice, don't judge a room until it's clean.

Tonight we camp out and have dinner in the house.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

House update #1,254

Painting isn't very fun. Especially when you're painting a rental. But if Mike and I are to be there a minimum of two years, then damnit, I better like what I'm going to look at every day!

We painted the bathroom last night. I'm going to load up the car after work and make yet another trip and investigate as to whether or not it requires one more coat. I sure hope not because I really want to get that sucker clean so I can shower in it Friday morning before work.

Mike and I are stressed. We put these invisible deadlines on ourselves and we want it all done yesterday. Our schedules get confusing and Mike travels over an hour to get to the house so it's a pain in the ass.

But I had some fun making out a menu and grocery list for this weekend as we'll be there three nights this week. I'm eager to cook in MY kitchen so I just keep trying to remind myself of some fun stuff. I hope at least one bedroom is 100% done by Sunday.

But the house isn't perfect and I wish it was. I'm sure once it's as good as we can get it, I'll be fine. It will also be nice once I have a couch to sit on.

My birfday is next Wednesday. Seven days. I can't recall having ever been so not excited for my birthday before. I guess because I know not much is going to happen. I have to go to work and Mike is supposively coming over after work and making me dinner. Then it's 9:00 and I'm tired. I hate working on my birthday. But at least there's a three day weekend after that. Mike has to work every day. Maybe I'll get away from the house a little bit and go North to see my mom and some friends and lay out a bit. Yeah, I think I'll do that.

I haven't forgotten about my Washington picture post. All the photos are on my laptop. I'm going to post some house pictures soon too.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Boring for you/Fun for me House update

I spent six hours alone in the house Saturday. The breeze couldn't be beat and I had The Move mix going on itunes and I had the backdoor open and it thundered on and off and rained on and off and it was very pleasant. Almost an eerie quiet minus the music and weather. Philly is so loud. Central Jersey is so loud. It was peaceful in the new house. The air was nicer too.

My kitchen is 95% done. I have to clean the oven, the floor and put my cookbooks on the shelf and that's it. I love it so much! Every dish, every spoon, every appliance is right where I want it. The sugar thing is full and my canisters are full and the cereal is in its home and everything is just spotless. My first kitchen!

It was a lot of fun. I got there at 9:00 am and the people downstairs weren't there and they didn't come back before I left so that was nice.

Mike is coming tomorrow to the house and I'll meet up with him after work and then we'll be there Thursday, Friday and Saturday night working hard trying to get as much done as possible. Sucks I have to work Friday but oh well.

I'll post pictures soon. Having one room done feels so much better at least. When I get pissed at the other rooms, I'll just go stand in the kitchen. I think the bathroom will be done next and then I'll have a ball cleaning and decorating that.

Moving into your very own place is a blast. Fuck roommates who move in first and take over every common room. Never again!

Not fair

Last night I ran in to my local convenience store to grab some cheese popcorn and was rather suprised from the sign taped all over the counter. ATTENTION: As of April 15, 2006, no one under the age of 19 will be allowed to purchase cigarettes, tobacco, blah blah blah. 19! How did this slip by me! Probably because I'm not affected by this ammended law but damn, I can't believe I didn't hear anything. No one said anything.

I think it's great. I wish cigarettes were illegal all together. Sucks for the smokers who are eighteen though and had been buying cigarettes legally until 4/15. My whole thing is that they're going to get their smokes one way or another; they just may be slightly more inconvenienced now. I think this is just a new NJ law?

Anyhow, so how's this for consistency?

18th birthday - I can now die for my country in a horrible place in a war I may not understand far from home.
18th birthday - I can vote for a liberal and pray he gets 5% of the vote in order to be granted federal funding to run again in four years.
19th birthday - Yay, I can buy cigarettes!
21st birthday - Boo ya I'm getting wasted tonight!

Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this? If it were all 18, we'd be screwed. 21 year old drunks are bad enough. If it were all 21, we'd lose too many votes and damn, some people really are well on their way to adulthood and it would not be fair.

I say, make everything 19 1/2! To go to war, to drink, to smoke. Hey, people may even start using fractions when referring to their age again and that would be a nifty bonus!

Consistency, people! CONSISTENCY!!!!!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Friday night all alone - Boo ya

Washington picture post is 2/3 down and sitting as a draft awaiting my busy ass to finish it. Hmmm, busy ass doesn't work as well as lazy ass. Oh well.

In the two years I've worked at my current organization I've gone to work only three times without having showered beforehand. Number three is today, baby! I clean up nicely for an unshowered chick who ate way too much last night at Grandpa's 80th birthday dinner. I was beat this morning. It's been go go go since last Thursday.

But the awesome thing is that tonight it's all about me. I see some pizza and popcorn in the near future, a movie and oh baby, I'm packing up anything and everything I own kitchen related. (Except my milk and cereal. That should stay here.)

Tomorrow morning I'm packing it all up and heading to the house with my stereo and I get to wash all my new dishes and silverware and pretty glass pasta containers and sugar caddys and I get to fill my stainless canisters with flour and sugar and coffee and:

I GET TO DECIDE WHAT I WANT IN ALL MY CABINETS!!! I can switch and move and change my mind and put the cereal wherever the hell I feel like it.

Moving into your own place is so much playing house....except the food and appliances are real!

When I moved into Philly house, two of my three roommates basically had already taken over and decided what shelves were theirs and how things were gonna be in every room other than my office and bedroom.

Now this is what I'm talking about. I love my kitchen.

So yeah, the house needs work. The windows and sills need washing big time but my kitchen rocks! (Brand new). The main rooms (long big room that acts as living room and dining room) is fine. Freshly painted, new lighting, etc. The bathroom and bedrooms just piss me off and Mike and I will do our best. Tuesday Mike starts priming and Tuesday night I hope to help him finish, but other than painting, it's a lot of little stuff.

Like, why the hell doesn't my bathroom door click into the door clicky hole and stay ajar? Aaargh!

So Mike's gonna go pick his nose in the Poconos tonight with Beater and some other friends of his and jam out tonight like the old days and get drunk and tomorrow they all have to get fitted for their tux's for Beater's wedding. This arrangement couldn't have come at a better time. I needed a break from the traveling.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Back from Washington

I am back from beautiful Washington. The time spent visiting with my brother and sister-in-law was fun, eventful and way too short.

What a different world Washington is! I just loved it and am feeling mildly depressed being back in dirty, stinky New Jersey and Philadelphia. I am so happy I went. It was so cool hanging out with my brother. He and my sister-in-law awaken me to new things and new ways and new experiences and they just get my mind rolling. A highlight included a short 3.5 mile hike with Kristin. It was breathtaking. I'm already looking up places to hike around here. I can't wait to go to Washington again next year minus my mom. Hopefully we can plan a hiking trip. It was wonderful to see a new place! So much green! I'll be posting my pictures soon with some narration.

But alas, back to life as I left it. We got our keys yesterday and I'm feeling some mild anxiety. We met our downstairs neighbor and my first impression of her was awful to say the least and I'm stressing over it. Of course I am. Within two minutes of meeting her she let us know (albeit nicely) that her dog barks a lot and she yells at her young daughter a lot and her friend also lives there and her boyfriend from time to time (of course) and her stepson from time to time (great).

I was having trouble keeping a smile. But we didn't hear a peep until about 8:00 when the sun started to go down. But you see, we have our own driveway with a basketball hoop on it and our own yard and they have their own driveway and their own nice yard on opposite sides of the house.

But at 8:00 I hear a ball bouncing on our driveway and I look out the window and there's a little black boy playing basketball in our driveway.

"Where do you live?"
"Over there" He pointed to the other side of the house.
"What is your name?"
"OK, well I'm Jessica."
Rashawn goes back to his game


Ok, I don't mind if the kid plays basketball in our driveway. Wait, actually I do. Because immediately after our little introduction the little white girl who lives downstairs from me started fighting something awful over the ball with Rashawn. She's a devil child. I can tell by the way she whines and screams. And what's with the mom that she would let them basically climb over our non-existing fence and play in my yard!

There's boundaries and they need to be set. We're going to be there only a few days until June 1st so I didn't say anything and Mike said he doesn't mind at all. "Mike, you would mind if we were having dinner on the deck or if you were working in your garage or if the kid fell and chipped his tooth." The kids and their mom or whatever need to know that they need to ask permission and not get upset if we say no sometimes. I understand that we're the neighbor with the hoop but damn, at least ask first. Nine out of ten times I'll say help yourself but be careful.

I was floored by the fact that the mom didn't say anything. I'm not going to deal with this and I want the areas divided. Although there is no physical divider, the line is clearly visible.

I was miserable after that. I know it sounds silly, but what you don't put an end to in the beginning can drive a person (like me) crazy in the end. It ruined the rest of my night and I'm sitting here imagining pretend confrontations over property and being woken up to a little girl's temper tantrum. I can be so friggin' nice....but I can also come off 'snobby' and sound like I'm talking down to people. I hope it doesn't come to it but I have a feeling we're going to have to discuss duplex etiquette and I'm going to have to watch my tone and the mom is going to have to not act trashy.

I shouldn't be so opinionated. I'm sure they're very nice blah blah blah.

I rather be in Washington hiking. I never would have thought I'd like it so much.

Am I overexaggerating this whole thing? I tend to forget people are decent. I need to work on that.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

On hair...and other subjects

I had the winter cut out of my hair yesterday. 4-5 inches fell to the floor into a fun little pile I would have loved to play with. My favorite drag queen, Andre, is the culprit. I hated the cut last night but washing out all his fifty dollar products and restyling it this morning with my $2.00 product made me feel better. It's carefully disheveled and is carefully styled to look as if it has not been styled.

I have done ruthless and unrelenting damage to my hair since age 12 when I discovered hair dye. The torture continued through my punk years when I unleashed whole containers of gel to create my jet black spikes. Then the chelsea girl era. Oh yes, many a person were upset by my decision to shave it all off right down to 5 o'clock shadow. (I must say it grew back quite full.)

My hair was the longest it had ever been yesterday. Once a girl who couldn't care less and hated long hair, I wish I didn't have so much cut off. The long hair grew on me (no pun intended) and looking at a nice picture of myself last night, I finally realized I had taken the style for granted. Alas, my hair grows like a weed and it will be back before I know it. Finally, my natural color (naturally) after 11 years of abuse is back and I've come to like my hair. having a thinner face helps too. Hair is finally important to me. Not important enough to make me cry about it, but important.

What I do hate, when your hair is being washed by the hair washer at the salon and you just want to relax and some lady is just going on and on and on asking you questions and wanting to talk about your tattoos and you just give one word answers trying not to sound too rude while hinting at, "look, lady, just wash my hair and leave me alone'. I hate that with a passion. I hate when any stranger who is supposed to just provide me with a simple service asks me a million questions. I can be rude about that sometimes. But really, I don't need to make friends with the lady washing my hair. Just wash my hair! She also used cold water and didn't massage my scalp. Bitch!

Probably because I was rude. ;-)

Went to church this morning for one last plea that I get back safely from Seattle.

I'll post pics and stories when I get back. We pick up the keys to the new place Tuesday!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

On Media

A few months ago I just knew we would suffer a pandemic of bird flu. I prayed, lost sleep, researched what a pandemic is exactly. Then one day the threats were gone, the warnings were gone and I figured that if the media wasn't talking about it, it just wasn't happening.

Then yesterday the news sites were once again swarming with the warnings, the threats, the plans our government will put into action in the event of an outbreak. Last night I prayed, lost sleep and daydreamed of barricading myself and loved ones in my house if there were to be an outbreak.

I fear what the media tells me to fear. I can't help it. Just as I can't help being petrified to get on the plane to Seattle Friday morning and then again on Monday afternoon. I've calmed my nerves by convincing myself that God wouldn't take me before I've read Harry Potter Book 7 and by telling myself that no terrorist will want to highjack a plane flying into Newark, NJ at 10:00 pm while no one is at work. Going to Seattle, well, why would anyone want to terrorize Seattle. It's so pretty there.

How did the media get so bad? Is it just me who sees the media as the real terrorizer? I don't think so. I overheard a colleague of me talking about Charlotte, NC last Friday and her previous visit there. She said even the news was nice. The top story was about a family of geese that crossed the highway.

Now that's just an example and maybe it's where I live that the news is so bad but look at CNN. For anyone who does not watch their local news, CNN is the summary for what's up. It's gruesome. I read CNN every single weekday while I eat my lunch and I can't even tell you how many times I had to choose between not finishing my lunch or not finishing a news report. Our news has made me nauseous, weak in the knees, and flat out cry.

Do we need this? I know I don't but yet I continue to read the news everyday and maybe that's my fault and I'm just not cut out for it, but I do like to know the headlines at least. I feel that an intelligent person should know the headlines everyday.

But does the world really need to know the gruesome and knee weakening hate crimes that two teenage boys down south committed and how they'll only be charged for what it is if the victim dies? Do we really need to be told a bird flu pandemic is coming when we don't know when it's coming? Can't they just let us know the facts? Like that it's out there and that we have a plan? I don't want to know the details of a sex offender's confession. I just want to know he's being sentenced to life in prison for it.

I could go on and on. The point is I'm not ignorant. I don't want to see the world through rose-colored glasses and the media is what's preventing me from that. That's not my problem. My problem is what the media chooses to cover. Philadelphia has had 100 murders so far in 2006 and not one of them has been covered on CNN. Why? It's old news; it's what's expected of Philadelphia. The media covers the stories that shock the small towns and scare the hell out of people and to be honest, I think some of the reports just give other criminals ideas. I wish that bit about the plastic real working oozy found on a drug dealer on an airplane had been kept to itself. Great, now guns can be made of plastic.

I guess news is news. If a kid was shot down the street from my house I'd call my mom and tell her about it. That's spreading news. The goods news I spread has to be really good or else I just keep it to myself. Much like the news I'm sure. I guess it's just a shame there's so much bad news in the world.

Speaking of yesterday's news, I found it pretty funny that still only one in ten Americans aged 18 - 24 can point out Iraq on a map of the world. Only 4 in 10 could identify New York.

Go U.S.A.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Tuesday is music day

New Tool and new Pearl Jam? Hmm. Scratching head wondering.

Two bands that I recall buying casettes of when I first began cultivating my own preference of music. Or shall I say copying my big brother's? These bands have been with me since the beginning. Along with Alice in Chains, Sound Garden and Toad the Wet Sprocket. Thanks for that latter one especially, Doug.

I bought two cd's last month and before that, I can't remember when. Perhaps a year ago? I downloaded some stuff from itunes and just burned what I did have on cd onto itunes and made playlists on itunes. Basically, my music collection, although comprised of old faves, is tired, burnt out, overplayed and lame. Since my ipod died, choosing a cd to insert into my discman every morning for our long walks through the streets of Philadelphia has become a chore. Half way I'm wishing I had something else to listen to.

Yes, there are cds I want. No, there's no money to be spending on cds. The worst is that the 'new' music I purchased on itunes is trapped in itunes because my hard drive is busted and I can't burn cds.


Anyhow, lets hear some reviews. I want to know how the new Pearl Jam cd is and the new Tool. Some little bastard said Pearl Jam's new sound sucks. New sound?

One of my three readers is bound to pick one of 'em up.


Monday, May 01, 2006


I leave for Seattle Friday morning and I'm excited. I'm crashing at my mom's Thursday night and pretty excited to sleep in my old room. It's been 22 months since sleeping at mom's.

Not much is new with the exception of Mike's brother being even more of a fucktard and how much we hate him and Mike's mom being all pissy with us because we dislike her son. It's so much bullshit. I've disliked Mike's brother since the day I met him.....when he stole $126 from me....the very day he met me....the day Mike took him out to a bar to join me and said "Don't fuck this up. I really like this girl." Yeah, that day.

Anyway, I just feel bad for Mike. He's so 'the good son' and he gets shat on because everyone's attention is focused on Jeffrey. I hate him so much. We could just about cram into the grand canyon the horrible shit that little bastard has put us through. I don't need his mom telling us our malcontent for the fucker upsets her. No one tells me who I can and can't like. She should be happy. If Jeffrey wasn't Mike's brother, bad things would have happened back to him by now.

But this shit with Jeffrey has never stopped. It's been going on since the day I entered into Mike's life and the bastard has tried so hard to break us up (has even tried to ruin Mike's relationships with other dudes) and in the beginning I thought of just saying 'fuck it' but we can't let him win now can we? Then I fell in love with Mike anyway.

But we just hate him and it's so cool we're moving soon but I know Mike feels bad because he won't be around to keep an eye on things and look after his mom. Jeff doesn't even know where we're moving to and that's the way it's gonna stay.

As far as brothers go, yeah, when in serious trouble, you have to go running. But honestly, Jeff would sell his whole family out in two seconds if the result suited his needs or was convenient for him. There just comes a time when blood or not, you have to wash your hands of people. We did that in the middle of January. On Jeff's birthday. When we got him gifts and made a great big dinner. Yes, he knew about it two weeks earlier. But he decided not to come home. It was just the icing on the cake.

Mike will enjoy being able to take a shower without locking his bedroom door first. It's the first house I've been in when even his parents lock their doors just to take showers. When Jeff's away on one of his benders everything is open and keys and cellphones are left out on the table. That's how you know if Jeff is expected. Look at the doors.

I just hate him so much and I wish his mom would just accept it and stop being nasty to the two good kids. I just think she's sad that the good kids are leaving and all she'll have left is that fucktard. I hate him so much.