2013: A Year in Review and Looking Ahead

Another year, gone. As tradition dictates since 2009 it is once again time to reflect on the previous year; to stop and take stock for both the purpose of remembering, and for the purpose of planning.

2013 was a tough, tough year. Of course, it had some very high notes, for which I am tremendously grateful! But as a whole, it was stressful and emotional to an alarming degree. I fear that perhaps maybe I did take on a bit too much this year (although I vehemently denied it all year). Or perhaps the constant effort of quitting smoking affected my moods and chemical make-up coupled with what were maybe normal stresses? Perhaps this year I have been suffering from depression...? I honestly and truly don't know. But considering I gained 20 pounds this past year even though I worked out more than ever and didn't change my eating habits (that much - I have been quitting smoking and probably stress eating) I can't help but believe that my body was in a fairly constant state of fight or flight and storing fat and energy as if it were under attack. I have been stressed all year, from beginning to end and for various reasons, and coming off of a stressful 2012 as well.

I think it was just too much (two promotions at work, weddings, school, responsibilities to my writing group) and I'm only realizing this all now. Now that the semester is over and the holidays are over and I'm finding myself with a wee break (with the exception of one more deadline), I'm noticing that I've just been constantly adjusting to everything I "had" to do, and really hanging on by a thread. I accomplished everything (and to my usual high standard), but I fear that I did so at the expense of my well being. There was just nothing left at the end of the day.

I am seriously hoping that is why I have been crying and feeling depressed nearly every single day. For some reason, especially the past few months, I am feeling too much and thinking too much. So much so that I started talking to someone about it in September. Something isn't right. And I don't like the person I was this past year.

I can't keep living like this. It would be impossible to look back on 2013 without acknowledging all of this, as it was the near-constant shadow cast over the year, and without planning some sort of defense for the coming year. I can only hope that everything I have been feeling is some basket weave of stress and quitting smoking that will loosen its grip on my mind and body.

Which is why I am acknowledging that here now and practicing identifying these feelings, sending them love and gratitude, and then sending them on their way.

I quit smoking, finally, in 2013. As of today, I am cigarette free 30 days! For whatever weight I've gained and whatever emotional turbulence I have put myself through as a result of quitting and failing over and over and withdrawal from cigarettes, I am grateful because I feel free. Year after year after year I have tried and failed to quit smoking and finally, FINALLY, I don't have to quit smoking today or write those words on the top of my resolutions list. For all of this, I am so grateful.

Later this month I will begin my final semester at Saint Joseph's University! It has NOT been easy, but in May I will don a cap and gown and FINALLY get my elusive Bachelors Degree with all manner of pomp and circumstance and I will have achieved a major accomplishment. For all the stress, late nights, early mornings and deadlines, I am so grateful. I am a smarter, more confident woman because of my education and I am proud of myself for my stellar grades.

I had the honor, as Matron of Honor, to stand beside my best friend Jess on her wedding day this past June. The Bridal Shower was wonderful, if I do say so myself, the bachelorette party an absolute blast and the wedding was beautiful. Most beautiful of all was the Bride. I was so happy to be a part of it all.

The Bride and Matron of Honor at the Shower

As for travel and leisure, our annual week-long vacation with the Cape May Crew became a long weekend instead. It was super fun, as always, however we did not take our annual photo in front of Kelly's Pub unfortunately. As best as we try to keep traditions, sometimes they're just not possible... the photo that should be here below this paragraph is missed.

Speaking of traditions, we did maintain our Oktoberfest tradition and breathed some fresh life into it adding a new game and some new faces (but more on that in a moment). It was a great time, or so I'm told since I blacked out pretty early (woops). I'm told I was a hoot and a great host so thank goodness for that.

In August I went out to Washington (the second time in 8 months) for a 3rd big brother/little sister adventure (the last before Doug sets out with Kristin on their round the world bicycle tour). We headed out to Doug's favorite part of Washington, the Cascade Mountains, Methow Valley and Winthrop. We spent a couple days just hanging out, hiking, and riding bikes in Stehekin, a community nestled in the North Cascades only accessible by boat, plane, or foot. It was a wonderful experience for a city gal like me and one I will never forget. Not only did I get to experience nature and the beautiful views and a few days of unplugged living, but the time spent with my brother was so wonderful. Drinking coffee and talking for hours in the lodge after a morning of hiking, reading together at the bakery, playing a game at night enjoying a few beers, reading each other's stories... all with the most amazing backdrop imaginable. It was a wonderful trip.

Hanging out near Agnes Gorge

Crossing off item #59 on my bucket list, I finally saw Pearl Jam. It was a great show and wonderful to see them after being a fan for twenty years.

For all that we gained, we also suffered some losses. Mike lost his job in the fall and was unemployed for four weeks. He's back to work now, but not happy so we'll see what the New Year brings. We also lost two very special people, Mike's Grandma Stephanie and our good friend's dad, Mr. Kobryn. They will both be missed.

But when God closes doors, he opens windows and he opened a big one, one that let in a tremendous amount of light, in August when I met April, and Mike and I gained an entire family into our lives who live just a few doors down.

I was out walking one day when a woman I had waved to countless times since we moved here said that if I ever wanted someone to go walking with that she would like to go. I said sure and right then we set up a date and time to walk. I didn't even know her name. I met her in front of her house a few days later and we introduced ourselves and that was it - we were very fast friends. We started walking regularly then a few weeks later we had the family over and Mike and April's husband Joe hit it off splendidly and their kids, Joey and Angelina, are so wonderful and sweet. It's been amazing and we are so happy to have made such wonderful friends.

We took in the New Year with our new friends and it was great. It's funny how sometimes you have no idea what's missing until you find it and then you have no idea how you got by all this time without it. I guess everything happens for a reason. The universe works... and somehow always knows the perfect time to step in.

So that's 2013 in a nutshell. One last highlight; I wrote more in 2013 than I have in years (and I don't mean for school). That's something I really want to continue focusing on in 2014. I am realizing just how good it is for me, mentally, to get things out of me. I may even get to see two of my stories in print... but more on that in a later post.

My number one first and foremost goal for 2014 is quite simple but very hard: I want to be kinder to myself (and by extension to Mike and my Mom). I was not kind to myself in 2013. Maybe that's another reason I have been so sad... But that is going to change.

There are so many other more specific goals I could write about, but I realize now that they all fall under being kinder to myself. Allowing myself to do the things I have been wanting to do (like taking surfing lessons this summer), taking my weight off in a loving way, rather than starving myself and winding up being resentful, giving myself permission to say no more often, making meditation more of a priority as a gift to myself, being a better wife, a better daughter... all these things will come if I can just be kinder to myself. And I started today. After taking several hours to write all of this down for myself, I already feel better. I'm learning what works for me. A lot of people say it's best to keep your eyes forward, but as the name of this blog indicates, I think reflection is critical in order to move ahead. We need to know where we've been in order to plan for where we're going...

...and I'm moving forward in 2014.

Happy New Year!

2012: A Year in Review

And yet another year, Gone.

Keeping with tradition, it is time to reflect back on the closing year in order to remind myself of all that's happened and what I have done and achieved. I love New Year's. I have no use for rubbing shoulders with strangers anymore or fighting for a drink. In fact, this year Mike and I will again stay home with a wonderful spread of snacks and a lovely seafood and risotto dinner, as well as some good beer and wine.

What I truly love about the new year is the fresh start. For the first time in three months I feel rested and refreshed. The social calendar has slowed and it's the perfect time to refocus my energy on the goals I was not able to achieve this past year, and really focus on what I want 2013 to be like.

After reviewing 2011's Year in Review post I see that 2011 and 2012 were very different, whereas 2011 was a year of planning and new challenges and ventures, and 2012 was largely a year of execution and settling in and adjusting to those new ventures.

I started school in January at Saint Joseph's University. I would say that the majority of my stress this past year has stemmed from school in one form or another. But I am extremely proud of wrapping up my first year with a 4.0, which will surely only add increased pressure and stress this coming year. Yet I have decided I like the ring 4.0 has to it so I will continue to try my very best to maintain it.

I managed to start the year out right with a five-mile race on New Year's Day. Although I did not achieve a single one of my 2012 resolutions, I have achieved, finally, consistent exercise. After years of practice, I consistently kept active throughout the year with only brief and sporadic periods of inactivity. That's a huge accomplishment, and now simply part of the routine. I also ran Broad Street again, a 10-mile race in Philly, this past May in honor of my 30th birthday. I finished in 1:55:37, shaving a whopping 17 minutes off my time from 2010.

Speaking of my birthday, I turned 30 in style with a Big Birthday BBQ Bash that Mike and I threw at home. It was a blast and I avoided feeling all of the 'boo-hoo I'm 30' nonsense. I reflected on turning the big 3-0 here.

In August, I decided to do something I have always wanted to and signed up for private one-on-one swim lessons. I love swimming so much and I certainly have a knack for it, I've discovered. It is now one of my favorite things to do and I look forward to building up my endurance in 2013.

As for travel and leisure, this year I was fortunate enough to take three vacations, which is totally awesome! In July, Mike and I went to Cape May again with our usual crew for our 4th Annual week in Cape May. The house we rented was huge and had decks and porches everywhere, the weather was great and we had an awesome pool again conducive to hours of pool volleyball. Overall, it was extremely relaxing and we had a great time.

Labor Day Weekend, I took my Mom out to Colorado to see my brother, Joey. I had never been out there so that was really cool. It was great getting to see Joe and where he lives. We hung out in Louisville, Boulder, and Longmont hitting up five breweries (Lililkoi Kepolo at Avery is still the best beer I have ever had) and countless bars. We went hiking and also drove up the highest paved road in N. America, Mount Evans Road, to 14,240 feet. The temperature was in the 80's when we set out and in the 20's at the summit. It was freezing and the drive up was terrifying thanks to my fear of heights and lack of shoulder and guard rails.

Lastly, Mike and I got to spend Christmas in Washington state with my brother, Doug, and sister-in-law, Kristin. What an incredible way to wrap up the year! We truly had an awesome time and made so many memories and got to have so many new experiences. We went to a Seahawks game (it really is as loud as they say it is), ate Moroccan food on Christmas Eve, went snow tubing on Christmas, spent time in Seattle and just laughed our heads off and got to catch up and talk. A lot. I always take away so much more than memories from my visits with Doug and Kristin and my trips out to the Pacific Northwest.

The only major change we experienced this year was an incredible blessing. Mike started a new job after eight years of being with the same company and becoming increasingly unhappy. For the first time since I have known Mike, he is off weekends. This is a total game-changer and the entire quality of our marriage has improved and best of all, he is a happier man, which makes everyone around him happier.

This past year we also maintained our Oktoberfest tradition despite an extremely busy fall. As we and our friends all get older I think it is increasingly important that we maintain these traditions because it would be all too easy not to see one another without events that bring us all together. We are happy to do our part and provide another reason to come together.

This past November we saw two of our dearest friends, Roman and Danielle, tie the knot. Mike was overjoyed to be named Best Man and I was thrilled to be a bridesmaid. The wedding provided many festivities including a fabulous bridal shower in July, bachelor and bachelorette parties in the fall, all leading up to truly fantastic wedding, which included a weekend in a beautiful hotel with many great friends. Overall, their nuptials were great cause for celebration; a whole lot of it, and we are thrilled for them.

Also this past November, Mike and I hosted our very first Thanksgiving and I loved every second of it, particularly the planning and prep. It was a huge success - the house looked gorgeous, the tablescape was stunning and the food was delicious. I very much hope to do it again next year. Thanksgiving, a holiday I didn't care much for, is now possibly my favorite. I guess as long as I can do it my way. ;-)

Overall, 2012 was great. After all, we had one another, a roof over our heads, pillows under them, food in our bellies, and our family, friends and Cooper. Life has been good to us and we are fortunate enough to do many things.

I wish all of my friends and loved ones a wonderful 2013 free from pain and full of love, accomplishments, and good fortune. Cheers.

And now for those resolutions...

On Turning 30.......

Today is the eve of my 30th birthday and I’d like to take a moment to reflect on what this means to me, and how I am feeling as I achieve this milestone. The past several years have been really excellent, my 29th year being no exception as I hit the trifecta of new home, job and school. I’ve been running a lot more races and weigh less today than I have throughout the past 3-4 years. I am faster and more active than I have ever been in my adult life and although I have been thinner, I don’t think I’ve ever been healthier. I feel good and I am quite pleased with where I am at this point in my life.

This week I have been burdened by homework and have had little time for self-reflection, yet fortunately my work has necessitated reflection. I have been learning Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics; what he believes happiness is and what it takes to achieve it. One of my tasks was to write about what I believe happiness is. This lead me to contemplate how I define happiness, whether or not I am happy, and how I may be happier in my 30th year.

I am pleased to say that my happiness has increased consistently over the past several years. I believe this comes with age and experience and having an understanding of what makes us happy. I pro-actively seek pleasure, work to improve myself, and my life, to be happier, and to avoid that which does not bring me happiness. Aristotle believes happiness comes with maturity and I agree. I have learned so much about others, life, and most importantly, myself. With this knowledge I feel armed to make better choices and to ultimately live a better life, resulting in a level of happiness.

I often question what the point of living is if you’re not working toward something. I believe it is important we strive for self-actualization although there is no way of ever achieving it. There are a great many things I will continue to work toward this year (my degree, running faster, losing more weight, being a more patient person, improving my home and finances) and there are many improvements to be made (you’re 30 now – STOP SMOKING FOR GOOD ALREADY!). But it is so much easier to do these things feeling that I am not “behind”. I am not overwhelmed by what I want to do because I am always aware of where I’ve been, where I am, and where I am headed.

Ten years ago I felt hopeless, depressed; I was a failure and only valued myself as others valued, or didn’t, value me. I was lost; not good for anything.

Today I am a strong, intelligent, independent woman. I am a good wife to a wonderful man, a great mom (to the most perfect dog in the world), a good daughter and sister, good friend, and a contributing member to society.

In the future I seek to be great.

I am excited about beginning the next chapter of my life. There is a little trepidation in the big 3-0 though, I must admit. Although I have been an adult for several years, now it just seems so much more “official”. Don’t get me wrong - I still plan to call my mother in tears when I’m upset, but there’s something about “30” that says we need to get our retirement plans in order, and get annual physicals and start being really vigilant about our health. The biological clock is also out of the closet. It’s not on the nightstand yet, but it’s in the room. And although this brings me great sadness to think and write, it is also time to really stop taking people for granted, like my Mom for example, because you just never know how much time you have.

But enough of that. 30 is also just another number. This Saturday I will celebrate 30 right with a big bash amongst my parents and friends. I will kick things off with awesome over-indulgence and memory-making. The scene of the first page of the next chapter will be my backyard and the main character of the story will be 30 and drunk. I couldn’t ask for a better beginning and I can’t wait to see what she does next.

Stay tuned.

An End in Sight. Sort of......

So I just found out that if I continue taking two courses a semester and one summer course, I will graduate County College with my second Associates in May, 2011. This is excellent news. And this is going to force me to have the wedding completely ready by the end of the summer so that I can continue with my two courses/semester right through the wedding. Hopefully I'll only miss one class each for the honeymoon.

This also means that I will hopefully start at Rowan in Fall, 2011. But therein lies a little bit of a snag. We're hoping to move in June, 2011 - possibly to Pennsylvania. But alas, I will not let myself get worked up about it now. Instead, I will relish in the fact that I finally have an end in sight. And when people say, "so when do you finish up?" I'll actually have an answer.

A Brief Update

Since my last post, my mother has gotten sick and school really picked up so those are my two excuses.

In a nutshell, my mom was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer in late January and had a radical mastectomy in early/mid February. She is currently recovering. We just found out on Thursday that there's a little bit of cancer left in only one of her lymph nodes which the doctor seems to think the Chemo will wipe out. She'll be starting chemo within a few weeks I think - she finds out today.

School has been a lot of work. It's not bad at all, but it's a hell of a lot of reading and it took me a few weeks to find my stride. I have not opened a book for leisure since Geisha and I look forward to the end of the semester to read a book for fun, preferably outside.

Other than that, all is well. We had gorgeous weather over the weekend and I really enjoyed it.

Happy New Year

Since it's been quite a while since I've last posted I figured the new year was a better time than any to get back in the groove of things. November and December were bears of months for me, but I'm not dwelling on old, out of style, 2008. Alas, 2009. I confess I totally buy into the whole new year thing. It's a time of renewal for me. I get new bold ideas, I clean the dust off and tweak old goals gone unfulfilled, and overall, I start out the new year with a sense of vigor I find only spring time and the new year can inspire.

So far so good. I lost five pounds my first week "back" and I've been hitting the gym and am in the process of trying out a new training plan. I've developed my goals and incorporated checkpoints so I can spot if I veer off track. As I've posted before, I've been tracking my weight in line graphs since January 1, 2007. My 2008 average weight was 1.2 pounds more over my 2007 average. I'd like to reduce that average this year rather significantly and I have the best motivator I can imagine: a ten day trip out to Washington state this June. But more on that later. I also have the registration form for the New Jersey half marathon in May. Laugh if you will, but I don't know, I'm thinking about it. I'll have to see where I am in early March. It would be pretty amazing to go out to Washington with having completed a half marathon on my heels. Also, it would make turning 27 later in the month a lot easier to handle.

I'm really looking forward to the start of the school semester too. I'm taking a Creative Writing course for fun mostly. I miss writing, and I really feel like I have a story in my brain, however, I lack motivation. I thought taking a course would help me to become a better writer and motivate me simultaneously. I'll have to write if I want to maintain my 4.0 GPA. I'm also taking World Lit as a requirement and am super excited my new friend Jess is will be in my class. Yes, this girl. She's awesome!

I'm optimistic it's going to be a great year.

I do want to add, however, partly as a confession and partly just to be honest, that I've also been working on making some personality changes too. I definitely need to work on my level of patience and I also need to remember, although it makes me sad, that no one is immortal. I'm trying to actively enhance certain relationships and stop taking them for granted. To be more specific, my mother's mortality has hit me like a bullet. My goals for this year include making sure she has a better year, even if it that means simply not getting any shit from me.

Mike and I have also gone through some "exercises" so that we can be sure we understand one another. It's re-opened the lines of communication and that's working out really well for us. Patience really works wonders. I highly recommend it.

Another big thing this year will be the wedding planning. Dare I say I have no interest in this at all. But why should I have an interest in spending exorbitant sums of money we don't have, and the stress that goes along with trying to accommodate everyone who feels they have some sort of say in this wedding? I know that is a negative outlook, but realistic I think. I do hope once we get started and check out the venue I will become more excited. I wonder if maybe I'm just not that kind of girl who gets excited over her wedding. Every time I picture it though, I picture something small. A small wedding is going to be a fight though. That's where the stress comes in. Having to fight to have the type of wedding I want. I can hear it now, all the people I "have to!" invite. Mike and I will just have to hold our ground. Maybe I can wipe up some tears and throw a temper tantrum or two? ;-)

Grades

I got two A's this semester - one in Sociology and one in U.S. History I. I suspected I would get two A's but seeing them in black and white is very nice.

Happy Halloween

I thought it might be nice to keep my fingers out of my little cup of roasted pumpkin seeds and wish everyone a Happy Halloween!

Mike carved his pumpkin last night and I roasted the seeds. (A first). October felt like a wonderfully fulfilling, lengthy month just like it should. It may have been the best month of my life so far! And we're looking forward to getting rid of the candy tonight and I guess this weekend the decorations will have to come down. Sigh. It was a great run.

On another note, I've decided not to pursue my Associates Degree from Camden County College before moving on to Rowan. I've done a great deal of research and work and it seems that a good six or seven classes I would need to take to get my Associates from Camden mean absolutely nothing to Rowan. So why take them? I couldn't care less about having another Associates but I just assumed this was the way to go. I called Rowan to confirm and my future advisor reassured me that I was correct - there's no need for the Associates if my intentions are to go get the Bachelor's.

So I can fast track this thing after all. I can't really calculate it yet though because Camden accepted credits from Berkeley that Rowan may not. That's the next step - to find out if Rowan will take credits from Berkeley. If not, I'll have to take the classes at Camden.

Examination Civilization

So I took my exam last night and it's a damn good thing I did since I thought my head was going to explode if I didn't get the three pages of memorized text out of it. It all spilled out of me nicely and in order, but damn, did my hand hurt! I haven't handwritten anything lengthier than a post-it note or grocery list in ages. Every few minutes I had to stop and shake out my hand and flex it a bit. It was pretty painful.

I don't know for sure how I did but I think I did fine. I'll let you know in a week or two when I get the exam back. I just feel so much better to be done with it.

Report: First Day of School

First day of school came and went without any stress or anxiety. I got to school in plenty of time to buy my book for the class that starts next week and to find my classroom. Too bad kids were in there and I had to wait outside for half an hour.

I like my professor a lot. The class is World Civilizations. 8:00 - 10:30 PM Wednesdays.

We spent half the class listening to Mr. M. explain the format of exams, quizzes, homework and how our two personal days work. That's right, personal days (which I have no intention of using.) He wants us to see school as a job and much like a job, we will receive personal time to use however we want to (not on an exam day) and will not penalize our grade in any way.

He's nice and speaks well and he kept my attention. He's full of obscure historical facts and that's always fun when he throws them into the mix.

As far as my class goes, there were probably around 20 of us and I'd say only three were over age 30. There was a handful of recent high school graduates and the rest were a mix of people in their twenties.

I was home by 10:45 and was able to catch the last fifteen minutes of Top Chef and stayed up to 1:00 to watch the encore episode so I could see the first 45 minutes of the show. What sucks about school is coming home ravenous and wide awake. I ate too much too late last night. I'm going to have to figure this one out.

I have a quiz next week so I have to do my homework. Overall, it all went fine.

First Day of School

Today is my first day of school! World Civ - 8:00.

Woo-Hoo!

Oh, back to school, oh I'm no fool so it's back to school

School's around the corner.

Remember when you were a kid, back to school meant new clothes and A NEW THEME! The backpack had to match the binder and the pencil case and the lunchbox! Deciding on a theme for your supplies was no easy decision. My mom wouldn't allow me to just change my mind half way through the year and besides, did you ever try to buy an adolescent backpack in say, February? You can't. They don't exist. So you had to know what you were doing. My mom often times wouldn't take us shopping until the week before school started so it was slim pick ins - I had to settle for some mismatch and damn how I hated that!

So here I am thinking about what I require for school. All I really need is my textbooks and a graphing calculator. That makes me sad. I have an office drawer full of pens, pencils, highlighters and I bet I even have two or three sharpeners. I have notebooks even. I even have over twenty bags that could constitute as a "book bag". Lame.

So I bought a new "bag" to make me feel better anyway

and I'll buy a new crispy clean notebook.

The bag is the damn closest thing I could find to one some girl on the train had. I saw it and I was like, I have to have that bag! (P.S. - I love bags. More than clothes and shoes. If you know my mother, feel free to comment with any plethora of jokes you can think of. I LOVE BAGS!)

I saw it was an Eastpak so I scoured the whole website and didn't even find anything close. I went to a backpack website and looked under Eastpak and saw something pretty close so I bought it. It's not even a backpack. It's a shoulder bag made out of backpack material but it's not a messenger bag. I grew out of that phase.

Hey, anyone want fifteen messenger bags?

Oh and anyone wanna sell me their TI-83 plus graphing calculator? Go look in the junk drawer and let me know how much you want for it.

I'll trade you some messenger bags.

Best to be sure

So as I wrote out a check for the second class I'll be taking my first semester this upcoming fall, I just had to be sure, "So all I have to do now is buy books and show up for my first class, right?"

I was relieved when the gentleman who took my money responded, "That's right!"

Call me silly or stupid, but it seemed the whole process of enrolling at County College was a difficult one. So many papers, departments, things to prove and I still have to mail out a few papers. I am so relieved the hard part is done (at least until classes begin.)

I registered early enough to get a spot in the classes I wanted at the times I wanted.

My fall schedule:

Mondays - 8:00 - 10:30 - Statistics
Wednesdays - 8:00 - 10:30 - World Civilizations

I'm excited and nervous to be going back but ecstatic I followed through. I am going to be a student again and I am quite pleased I won't miss dinner with Mike twice a week. However, I will be crying once Project Runway starts up again and Kelly and I already agreed to move our Wednesday night hang-out to another night.

It will take quite a long time but now that I'm 25 I really do see just how fast time flies and that if life continues in any sort of pattern resemblant to what it's been, my life won't be very similar to what it is now (except for Mike being in it I hope). That's what's so much fun about life. You always hear people say, if someone would have told me five years ago I'd be doing XXXX or being XXXX, I would never have believed them!

College update

I'm pretty out of touch. I couldn't go to school next fall even if I wanted to. Apparently, the deadline for fall applications was back in January. I'm crossing fiscal years now so I think the application needs to be updated. I "assume" my deadline will be in October for my application to start school in Spring 2007. I think that's a great time for me to start school.

Back to School

I'm two thirds of the way through my College application. Damn dates. When did I graduate college? A couple of years ago, that's when. Thank goodness I graduated high school in 2000. If "they" didn't make such a big tadoo about the class of 2000, I may have very well forgotten what year I graduated high school in. Some simple math helped me to determine that I started school in September of 1996.

I'm going back to school. I've kept in on the D.L. because I'm sure I've had big plans and big ideas before and shouted them out and let them fall to a heap at my feet. I'm starting to leak the news. But in a very no big deal sort of way. Ah-hem, for example:

"Yeah so I've decided it's time to go back to school. "
"Really? For what?"
"For a BA in Liberal Studies. Most of my credits from my Associates in Applied Science transfer over and I can get the amount of credits I need going to school at night and in about three years."
"What school?"
"Rutgers University - Camden. It's close by and dead center between work in Philly and home."
"That's good."
"Thanks."

That's about it. I really love working for a non-profit and I'd like to be a program director (decision maker) in a non-profit. Preferably, an environmental non-profit. I think I'd like that. My degree holds no weight. It was great and all and got me two of my last three jobs, but now I'm as far as I can go in this field.

So I don't know if it's a matter of "getting in". I've just been supplying information and I need to dig out some old records for the rest of it. I checked off I'm applying for the fall but I was thinking more like next spring. I figured I'd just fill out the application and take it from there. I need to check out financial aid. I requested my transcripts yesterday.

Wish me luck though. I'm super excited. School just seems so purposeful. I really can't imagine feeling like "waa waa I'm not doing anything *tear. Waaa" when I'm in school. A real college grad. My mom really played down my whole Associates thing. I didn't go to a "real college" or get a "real degree". She really hurt my feelings. I worked hard as hell for that degree and I graduated with a 3.97 gpa damnit!

But my bro kind of set the bar on the whole college thing. He set it pretty high too. Really high. I can't blame her for comparing the two experiences.

Anywho, I'm giving myself until next Wednesday to get the application in and hunt down all the records that got moved in the move.

We shall see.