Monday, September 26, 2005


I really want to be good at something. I'm good at some stuff but not the kinds of things I wake up all thrilled that I'm good at. I don't ever wake up saying to myself, I'm a good girlfriend. Today I'll practice to be even better.

Actually, I just tried to list all the things I'm good at and it was hard. I was no good at it. I'm a good reader. I'm a good listener. I'm a good cook and I'll be a great cook in a place all my own with all my own pots and appliances and gadgets. That I know. (I'm so excited to be a good cook.) I'm not an athlete although I really wish I was. Yesterday I went to a very large sporting goods store and was depressed that I had no reason to be there. I bought Mike his jersey that I owed him from our bet on the Super bowl last year and a lock for my locker at the gym and we walked around. I loved the expensive work out clothes and had no idea how I would actually utilize them to the extent they were created. I loved the warm jackets for hiking and camping and outdoor fall and winter sports. I looked at the giant camping packs and envisioned myself loading them up with what they were intended for.

I want to have something to practice. I'm not complaining that I'm no good at anything. It's all my fault that I never chose anything or stuck with it but mostly I just never thought I had the means for it.

I'm good at working with furniture. I was supposed to take Mike's dresser drawers home this weekend and start them. I really should. I need a hobby. I also need to start practicing writing. I have something very large to write and it's not going to write itself. I imagine life must have much more meaning when you do something that involves practice. Afterall, I truly enjoy cooking and I guess everytime I do that, it's practice.

This is such a lame entry. I just wish I had cool hobbies and I just don't know what I want to be into. There's a million things and they all require some funding. Well, not writing. Maybe that's the answer. I really need to start doing that.


Hazmat said...

you're good at writing a lot in your blog.

Doug Walsh said...

What about guitar? You had a beautiful guitar and were getting pretty good.

As for the camping stuff, save up some money and get your ass out here to Seattle and I'll take you hiking. We can rent you gear and see if you like it.

As for me, I'm very good at procrastinating and I take a lot of pride in that.