It Smells Like Autumn

It is a beautiful autumn day. I took a walk at lunch and the sun was shining and there were a few leaves and it was warm yet there was a breeze. The sky was a magnificent blue and white fluffy clouds floated lazily playing tag with the glare. It was sad like the way a familiar movie can make you sad. Like the way the scent of pumpkin pie and a certain temperature can make you feel lonely and bring you back to a time and a place and you think of people you haven't thought of in years and you smile but you feel so sad that you will never have that moment again. Then you begin to daydream of all the moments you will experience and all the memories you hope to make this autumn.

Then you feel lonely and let down before your autumn is even here. Afterall, summer went with the blink of an eye and you only went to the beach twice. There is no tan, there were no days of playing catch in the park, your biggest memory of this summer was the heat. There were no waterslides or theme parks. No day trips except for one which ended early anyway. It was a pointless summer. Nothing summery happened. The pool will be closed next week and I spent a few hours in it all together.....alone.

September is here. Autumn means more to me than summer does. Fall means wonderful intoxicating scents of apples, cinnamon, and pumpkin. It means blue skies, cool breezes, the playful rustling sound of dry leaves. It means natural colors and boots and leggings. It means hoodies and hot coffee and wind chimes that make all new sounds. It means cuddling and learning and new books and new movies. It means Halloween and candy and turkey. I could go on and on but I can't stop my mind from wandering to a daydream.

I pray I am not disappointed this Autumn. I can't experience Autumn all alone and I can only hope HC realizes how important it is for him to make himself available to me this fall. Just one day is all I want. Sun up to far after sun down.