Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Give and Take

I've just learned that this weekend will be another lonely one for me in Philadelphia. My head just isn't right. The past ten minutes I've gone through all the emotions that an eight year old whose just been abandoned in the woods by his mommy must experience.....only....internally. I am at work afterall. Then I realized, 'Cool, I'll finish up my Christmas shopping, maybe have a nice Christmasy Starbucks beverage, wrap gifts, watch Christmas movies and do some more holiday cleaning.'

I was just alone the weekend before Thanksgiving and it was great. I had reasons to bake though. I don't really have a reason to bake this weekend. Oh well, test baking it is.

The truth is, I don't mind it. I just think I hate it. I love being alone and I love being with people I like. It's just that I am alone all week and I'm not supposed to be home alone on weekends. I've gotten better at not letting the roommates get to me and honestly, I hate missing Mike but I love not seeing him venture out into the icy cold at 6:00 am Monday morning to drive to work. I also love not enduring the weekly depression of packing up and driving home on Sunday evenings. It's hard on us. Very hard. Do it every weekend for over six months and you'll see what I mean. And of course, the winter's worse.

So now I'll start looking forward to the weekend for a whole new set of reasons. And hopefully by next weekend Mike will be rested and ready to do something Christmasy with me. That was the deal. That's some f'n teamwork right there. Hmmm, I wonder what we should do.

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