I've been told to save money my entire life. For the first time in my life, at age 23, I actually have a savings account which I make small deposits into twice a month and I really do just forget about it and as far as I'm concerned, that money isn't mine. I have no desire to use it....even when I'm flat broke.
What's depressing is that I have no clue whatsoever what I'm saving for. I pondered this for a few minutes. A house came to mind. But the thought of raising a $50,000 deposit is flat out alarming and it might as well be a million dollars.
Vacation. Yes, I'd like to travel. But it seems so expensive. I'd hate to see so much money go in such a short period of time. But yes, Disney still beckons every day. Vegas too. After I vacation at both places, probably years from now, I hope Mike and I will be healthier and more creative. I'd love Mike to go somewhere hiking with me or somewhere where we can just go on an adventure. I don't know if he's that kind fo guy. But people change as they get older.
I don't really want anything. I'm serious. When I see something I like, I pick it up. I'm not one to spend more than $25 dollars on anything. I guess after having spent so long "being careful", the thought of indulgence just doesn't seem so great.
I want a Cuisinart food processor and a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. I've been told by everyone to put them on my registry when I get married and that if I get them now, I'll have nothing to ask for. Ok. I have it in my head I'm not getting them for a few years. I'm not the type to go drop $200 on the food processor I want.
I'm so afraid I'm just becoming so simple. The last time I spent money on myself was for my latest tats. That's it. I like to spend money on other people. I like to clean. I like to read, watch the Food Network and cook and bake.
I know I go back to this somewhat often and I know I have money issues. I feel I spent the first 21 years of my life listening to my mom cry, yell, complain, and anything else you can do about money. I hate money.
I think I could die a happy and very content woman if I could own a bakery or candy store or small cheese shop or something. I go back to this from time to time too. I don't know how to do that. But my friend Pete has a comic book store. I can ask him.
I just don't want to go through the motions and cook for just me and my family and have this happy little private life. I know how that sounds and that's great. But I want to be someone to the public too. I'm past hoping I'll be a celebrity. I just would like to be known in a cool town and maybe to a niche of 1,000 or something.
I'm not making sense. I just want to find a purpose. I wish I had a plan. Saving would be so much more fun.