Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Saving Confusion

I've been told to save money my entire life. For the first time in my life, at age 23, I actually have a savings account which I make small deposits into twice a month and I really do just forget about it and as far as I'm concerned, that money isn't mine. I have no desire to use it....even when I'm flat broke.

That's good.

What's depressing is that I have no clue whatsoever what I'm saving for. I pondered this for a few minutes. A house came to mind. But the thought of raising a $50,000 deposit is flat out alarming and it might as well be a million dollars.

Vacation. Yes, I'd like to travel. But it seems so expensive. I'd hate to see so much money go in such a short period of time. But yes, Disney still beckons every day. Vegas too. After I vacation at both places, probably years from now, I hope Mike and I will be healthier and more creative. I'd love Mike to go somewhere hiking with me or somewhere where we can just go on an adventure. I don't know if he's that kind fo guy. But people change as they get older.

I don't really want anything. I'm serious. When I see something I like, I pick it up. I'm not one to spend more than $25 dollars on anything. I guess after having spent so long "being careful", the thought of indulgence just doesn't seem so great.

I want a Cuisinart food processor and a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. I've been told by everyone to put them on my registry when I get married and that if I get them now, I'll have nothing to ask for. Ok. I have it in my head I'm not getting them for a few years. I'm not the type to go drop $200 on the food processor I want.

I'm so afraid I'm just becoming so simple. The last time I spent money on myself was for my latest tats. That's it. I like to spend money on other people. I like to clean. I like to read, watch the Food Network and cook and bake.

I know I go back to this somewhat often and I know I have money issues. I feel I spent the first 21 years of my life listening to my mom cry, yell, complain, and anything else you can do about money. I hate money.

I think I could die a happy and very content woman if I could own a bakery or candy store or small cheese shop or something. I go back to this from time to time too. I don't know how to do that. But my friend Pete has a comic book store. I can ask him.

I just don't want to go through the motions and cook for just me and my family and have this happy little private life. I know how that sounds and that's great. But I want to be someone to the public too. I'm past hoping I'll be a celebrity. I just would like to be known in a cool town and maybe to a niche of 1,000 or something.

I'm not making sense. I just want to find a purpose. I wish I had a plan. Saving would be so much more fun.

1 comment:

Doug Walsh said...

50 grand to put down as a deposit for a house? Hell no. These days you just need average credit, a few thousand dollars to put down as "earnest money" and then a few thousand more to cover the closing costs. The more you can put down, the more it helps, but forget all about that 10% down or 20% down, that shit's nearly impossible for first-time buyers and lenders know it.

As for making money from your hobby -- remember that you're young. Most of the people who do that are senior citizens or young retirees. Spend the next 20 years perfecting your hobby so that when you have the time and money to try and make it into a business, you're actually good enough at it that people would want to buy it. You can't just start a hobby and immediately think you're an expert.