Friday, September 22, 2006

TV night ends with breakfast

Yesterday was a rough day. I got home and the tension in my neck and shoulders was making me whiny and child-like and I had no idea when Mike was coming home and I was HUNGRY. I had just placed my “bag of death” on the living room floor when I heard Mike pull up the drive. Oh sweet heaven, he’s home early. I ran out the back door like a little girl excited to see her pa.

Dinner was fast and easy and we headed out to the monthly Thursday night Collingswood Cruise Night Classic Car Show to stop at the Treehouse for a coffee and hot cocoa, check out the strip of cars, try a different gummie at the Sweet Tooth and eat a pretzel. A new tradition that ended too soon. Next month is the official last Cruise Night till next year but little does Mike know, we’ve got tickets to see Social Distortion in Philly.

We made it home in time to break out some pillows and the new fall throw and settle in for Everybody Loves Earl. I stayed for The Office but Mike took his cue to shower and do the dishes while I watched.

Next was Iron Chef. Mike and I like to watch this show together and it’s one of my faves. Last night’s secret ingredient: Chicken egg. Bobby Flay and some other dude.

Everything looked awesome and the judging had me salivating.

Jess “I could eat all that up.”
Mike “It looks good.”
Jess “I’m salivating.”
Mike “Do we have any eggs?”
Jess “Yes”
Mike “You should try to make that toad in the hole thing.”
Jess “Now? You think I can?”
Mike “Sure, just cut a hole in some bread and fuck around with it. You said you wanted to ween yourself off using recipes all the time”
Jess “Well, it’s 10:00 and I’m not hungry but ok.”

So I broke out the last two pieces of bread, some cheese, chives, two slices of taylor ham and some eggs.

I cut out a circle, messed around, did some guesswork and had a little fun.

Overall, it was good but tasted the same as anything we’ve ever had with the same ingredients. It just was put together in a fun new way and I realized right away how I could have/should have done things differently. But I played make pretend and had fun trying out my “fancy” breakfast and we got a nice snack and I proved my point again that breakfast is not supposed to consist of three eggs, a giant roll, three slices of pork roll and potatoes but a small meal that’s full of flavor and put together well.
So I’ll be buying a two-blade circular cookie cutter that leaves an inch of bread in a circle and I’ll reference some recipes and I’ll be making toad in the hole again very soon. Toad in the hole shall be my signature brunch item. Oh yes. It will.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I drink AND vote responsibly

I spent some time today on the NJ Division of Elections website figuring out how to confirm I’m a registered voter (99% sure – I have been voting, but you never know), find out how to change my address and how to register Mike. Mike voted in the 2004 presidential election. I was so proud of him. Then he got a letter in the mail six months ago reminding him he should register to vote. Woops.

So I got it all together and confirmed I’m a voter and confirmed the contact and address for all the forms and filled them out and had trouble checking a box for my political party affiliation. Do I write Democrat, check the box that I wish to be an unaffiliated voter or check the box that says No, I do not wish to declare a political party affiliation at this time? I checked the latter and then went to the top of the form and checked the box for Political Party Affiliation or Nonaffiliation change in addition to the address change box. (I don’t know for sure but I assume I wrote Democrat upon registering several years ago.)

So that’s that. Next step, figuring out who’s running and what for. Common knowledge? No, not in the least especially for someone who works in Philadelphia and often forgets she’s not voting in that election. I know nothing of NJ politics and apparently, googling something like “New Jersey 2006 Elections” doesn’t yield clear results. The best link listed in the results was that of Wikipedia. What a cool source of information.

I soon learned that Thomas Kean, Jr. (R) is taking on Bob Menendez (D) for the Senate seat. I could tell whomever wrote the information was clearly not unbiased. This person was voting for Menendez. Although I am too, I couldn’t leave it at that and was compelled to venture to both candidates’ personal sites and read up on how they stand on issues.

I feel confidant now in my decision and can support the questions why I dislike or support one or the other in a conversation. That’s key, right? One should be able to answer why they dislike the other guy other than because he’s a Republican.

I found out fast that D and R doesn’t mean that much. I think that’s why I checked the box that I don’t want to choose right now what party I support. Depending on who runs in ’08, I may very well be voting Republican.

But enough of that, the point is that there is a sort of comfort in being responsible and making the important changes which affect census and stats and GOVERNMENT. I’m glad I took the time to figure this out and yeah, it’s not easy to just figure out. It takes a little research, a little time, and a little desire to want to help make a difference.
Or keep your state pro-choice and gay friendly. AKA open-minded.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Cable angst

Cable. Most everyone in the United States has it. Most everyone gets it within a few days of moving in to a new place. Not Mike and I. Why? Part laziness, part thinking it cost more than it really did (they wanted payment on delivery), part my subconscious desire to not get cable for fear Mike and I would become couch potatoes and get fat, part fear that my apartment wasn't cable ready and a huge project was on our hands.

So we agreed once football started we couldn't bear it anymore and that after the wedding I would make the dreaded call. So Monday morning Mike said I better call and I wrote CABLE real big on a scrap piece of paper and put it on the kitchen counter. That day upon coming home from work I had competely forgotten about calling and saw the note after changing into more comfy calls and decided it was time.

Ring Ring
Mike: "Hello?"
Jess "Who's the best?"
Mike: "What?"
Jess: "Who is the best?"
Mike: "What test?"
Jess: "Arrgh. I got cable! Dude's coming tomorrow between 3:00 and 7:00"
Mike: "Oh sweet"
A brief question and answer session ensued regarding cost and internet access and yada yada. We were happy.

Fast forward to yesterday (Tuesday)

Ring ring
Jess: "Jessica Walsh?"
Mike: "Hi."
Jess: "Did he come?"
Mike: "Yeah he just left. TV should be on in an hour."
Jess: "I am so excited."
A brief chat ensued where I said the word excited about 27 times and stated that we must do nothing tonight (last night) in honor of tv day.

On the way home I just knew I wasn't going to walk in to TV. Another night of Robot Chicken Season 1 episodes and Rampart (Best Atari game EVER!). Nothing, I repeat NOTHING, works in our house the first time or without loads of cursing, mental angst and stress.

I got home and the tv didn't work and Mike and I were pissed because who the hell knows what's wrong with it and I called and complained and the guy only had one box instead of the requested two and he didn't even attempt to hook up the internet. There's weird cables all over the house and the guy was just so certain the nice new looking one was for cable and he left and nothing worked.

"That's it, we're going out to dinner."

Let's speed this up shall we. A new Arby's opened nearby and I had never been since it's not a local chain so we checked that out. I said to Mike that we should really go out and get a longer cable to try this one other weird wire looking thing near the dining room in all its frayed wire glory and he said he had long wire at home. We drove right past Staples and Wal-Mart to get home to see Mike did not have it. I couldn't believe he actually put a little stock into my idea but he did and we went back out. Afterall, there were wires along the house that went right into our dining room.

We got the cable and a used copy of Tetris Worlds for PS2 since we figured we'd need a new game to play when we got home and realized our plan didn't work. I like puzzle games and it was cheap.

We hooked it up and it didn't work so we got all pissed. I was carrying on trying to straighten up the living room to get back to a sense of order when Mike gasped and scared the hell out of me and kind of gasped screamed, "It's on!"

My idea worked. The scary looking frayed half dead splitter thing worked. It was great. Mike channel surfed all night which makes me want to kill myself and I didn't even watch tv but enjoyed hearing "TV" in the background while I did other things. Finally we settled down quite late and caught "Whose Line is it Anyway?" then an episode of "Family Guy" which we really missed all these months and then I started to doze at 12:10, 10 minutes into "PeeWee's Playhouse". It was the latest I've stayed up on a work night in ages.

It was really exciting to actually have cable again but then I realized I missed absolutely nothing but the first half of Project Runway Season 3 and the Eagles/Giants game last week. But Mike's happier now and I'm happy for him. Tonight I have the house to myself and I intend to watch Project Runway and pick up a TV guide since I do want to get into one Fall show. I always thought it would be romantic to have TV night. A night of drama sitcom we can look forward to once a week.

Any suggestions? Kirk, I need to rent the first few seasons of Lost before I start watching this new one whenever it starts.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Week One!

Week One. Mike could hardly wait to get out of work, get home, get showered and get wings and a lager Sunday night, the first Sunday of the football season. Even better, the Giants were playing at 8:15 pm so he wouldn’t miss a moment of the game.

Mike and I checked out the bar/football scene when first having moved to South Jersey. We found one spot with the “Ticket” that seemed promising. The wings were awesome, I liked the nachos and it was a comfy sports bar type place with a full menu and plenty of TV’s and bar room. It went under renovation for almost two months and opened back up on Saturday. We scoped it out and had a drink and couldn’t help but notice the service was horrendous. No one had a clue what was going on and we knew it was going to hurt their business. It was painful to witness.

So Sunday came and we headed out early to catch the last of whatever game was on and get good seats for the Giants game. Mike and I don’t have cable yet and don’t typically get Giants games anyhow due to our proximity to Philly.

We stopped by Tailgate City again (the place with the horrendous service) and walked out after circling the bar. Bad bad bad. Nothing but bad service and drunk trashy Eagles fans who were still lingering after their win earlier in the day. (Go Eagles!)

So we moved on to the Inn on the Avenue. We sampled their wings a week or two earlier and scoped out the TV setup. We soon found out one of the bartenders was a Giants fans so Mike knew he could wear his Jersey.

This is what brings me to my story.

Growing up in Central Jersey, there was no official “team”. You liked who you liked and for whatever reason. You liked who your dad or big brother told you to like. If you were a girl, you liked the team with the cool colors or whoever your boyfriend liked. By no means would I say Central Jersey was more prone to Giants or Jets fans than say Raiders or 49ers fans.

Take “the crew” for example. Mike – Giants, Dustin – Titans, Randy – Browns, Jay – Bills,
Jess – Eagles and on and on. Sundays at Poor Billy’s meant clusters of similar colors crowding around televisions scattered throughout the bar. I, for one, liked to circulate throughout these clusters of color and talk a lot of shit.

Now for South Jersey….tsk tsk tsk. We walked into that bar Sunday night and it was EMPTY. Why was a sports bar with great plasma TV’s and awesome wings empty on a Sunday night? Because the Eagles had played earlier in the day. We had the whole place to ourselves except for the crazy Weird Al Yankovic looking Giants fan bartender, two Giants fans who turned out to be from Central Jersey and a few old drunk guys who said I should be ashamed of myself for being an Eagles fan and rootin’ for the Giants instead of the Colts.

“But the Giants are my second favorite team.” (Loyalty to my man.) The Seahawks are my third favorite for the same reason the Redskins were my favorite my whole childhood. (I still get a kick out of thinking my big brother is the shit and being that kid sister who likes what her big bro likes.)

So South Jersey is Eagles territory. Every other yard has the inflatable Eagles running back on the front yard, those who don’t have Eagles flags waving proud. Every bar is decorated green and has Eagles paraphernalia all about. Green green green. This is fine with me. I’m an Eagles fan but I don’t need Mike getting shit for wearing his Giants jersey. Think I’m over exaggerating? I think it’s pretty much common knowledge that Philly has the sickest sports fans. (I heard Raiders fans are pretty bad too.)

So anyhow we had a blast. I got a mean sore throat and had to leave and woke up Monday with a fever but that’s beside the point. The drunk Eagles/Colts fan told Mike after I left we were nice kids and welcome in “his” bar anytime we wanted. I think we found our spot and just like the old days at J.J. Bittings, the bartender Denise hooked us up and the bill was pretty tame.

Another bullshit difference between Central Jersey and South Jersey. North, wing and beer specials lasted as long as football was on. Here, only when the Eagles are playing. What kind of bullshit is that! A lager is $2 when the Eagles play and $4 before and after. That pisses me off. At least the Inn had other drink specials. Tailgate City had nothing else on special after the Eagles game.

But alas, it was fun. Let the weight gain season begin!!! I also thought it was funny that out of all the real football fans I know; only Doug and I were victorious. The Eagles and the Seahawks won week one!!

Beater’s getting married tomorrow. I’ll post some pictures. I hope I feel better by then. I don’t want to be blowing my nose every two minutes.

I'm actually excited to watch football Sunday night again. We'll have cable soon.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Why?

"CNN Pipeline presents CNN's TV coverage of 9/11/01 free, in real time. Starting at 8:30 AM Monday"

Why? Why would anyone want to relive the absolute horrow of that day by watching the actual real news coverage from the moments the towers were hit on to their destruction then onto the Pentagon and so on and so forth. 9/11/01 goes down as the most horrifying day of my young life and of most others. Why on earth would anyone want to relive that? As horrible as it sounds, 9/11 is being marketed. All the movies, documentaries, fictional mini-series based on the events. What's next? Greeting cards?

I, for one, will not be watching CNN's pipeline free, in real time, Monday morning.

Are you interested in reliving the horror? If not, why on Earth would you think anyone would?

The comment boards are open. I want to know what you think about this.

What a shame that even real life horror and loss of life becomes a money making scheme in the end? It's been five years. Is it suddenly ok to be unsympatheitc? Is five years the standard amount of time to allow for grieving? It feels that way since this year marks the beginning of the 9/11 market. It's so in your face like some sort of sick hype before a sick demented "holiday". I saw the smoke from the Towers in my hometown. I smelled the destruction. I don't need to relive that or be reminded. Like all those bumper stickers you saw after 9/11, "We will not forget". Then why do we need reminding?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Rain & Movies

I was so sore yesterday from my long continuous jog Monday. My thighs felt as if they had been injected with lead. They are still heavy today. Very heavy. I'm not too keen on having to put three to four days in between jogs here but my body needs time to recup. How embarassing. I went jogging.

It rained like hell when I got out of work yesterday. I arrived home sopping wet and cold, stripped of my heavy sloshy freezing work clothes and got in bed next to Mike who was napping. We slept until 8:00. Normally this would wreak havoc on me and cause extreme anxiety. My wasted time siren would alarm and I'd be miserable. I was so proud of myself. I told it to shut the hell up. It's rainy, I'm sore as hell, cold and it's effin Tuesday. Nap.

8:00 didn't seem like a good time to make spaghetti and sausage (the intended menu) so Mike and I heated up some soup and I whipped up a nice little salad and we watched the World's Fastest Indian with Anthony Hopkins. I highly recommend it. What an amazing tale!

I love any tale, movie, story based on true events. It makes it more fun to watch; almost educational. This happened. He did these things. Wow.

But the number on reason why this movie is so good and you should watch it asap is because of the main character. You can't help loving him and great characters like that are hard to come by. You just want him to succeed and win and you want to hug him when he's down. Awesome character and awesome acting by Anthony Hopkins. Thanks, Doug, for recommending it all those months ago. It was a very pleasant evening.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Where have I been?

It's been awhile. Things are great. Back on track so to speak. I went jogging yesterday. It was one hell of a jog too. I'm sore today and excited to get back into it. Jogging outside is so much more fun and intense than jogging on a treadmill. At least when you run outside you have a better sense of how far you went (I actually have no idea what the actual distance was but I saw different things) and you can't just stop because you still have to get home so your goal may as well be your own driveway. It was rad. And exhausting. But rad.

I made a shirt! Ohhhhh sheeeeeet! That was uncalled for but ya know what, that's what it felt like when I was all done and I washed the shirt and tried it on. I really need to get pictures up on this blog. I'll model my new shirt for ya'll.

Things are going good I guess. Mike's going on a diet, plan, WeightWatchers, whatever you wanna call it. I'm putting him on it and he's accepted. I cannot get over how big his belly got. It was like out of no where. And I thougth he'd drop weight like nothing when he moved in with me since he wouldn't be eating out anymore but nope. I don't get it. Yes, maybe at times I spoiled him and gave him the big man meals but no longer. And yesterday he ate the lunch I made him at work (a delicious roast beef sandwich) AND Taco Bell. I did not pack him Taco Bell. WTF.

So no more big man meals. Mike's going to learn his portion sizes. No more ice cream either. He can finally learn the that the lighter recipe Turkey Hill tastes just as good. I swear people see that "light" word on the packaging or "low fat" and no matter how good it may taste, their brain just sends signals to their taste buds saying it sucks. People really need to get over that. I'm not saying all lightened up stuff tastes just as good. That's ridiculous, but most of it does. Just not light puffed cheez doodles. Ick.

Anyhow, I plan to go get some sewing patterns this weekend. My sewing machine is all set up and I had a blast working on the shirt I made.

Things are good so far. Going North this weekend. I don't miss anyone or anything up there yet but I have a feeling I'll start to miss my mom soon so I'm due for a trip. It's been a few weeks. It's great not going up there all the time anymore. I never realized how much I disliked spending every weekend at Mike's parents house. Damn, his mom gets on my nerves. But there's some people to see and a bbq I "must" attend so whatever. I wasn't too keen on spending Labor Day alone anyway.

I'll actually say "something" later this week.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Shows

Growing up I was a show goer. VFW halls, rec halls, all ages shows in church basements, the ocassional Ozzfest or Warped Tour. Going to shows was fun with a car full of your stinkiest friends, running around, laughing and seeing the bands you and your friends listen to all too loudly with the windows down when you're 17 on a Saturday night. It was a blast.

Then I "outgrew" it. I wanted to have a drink at a show once I turned 21. I wanted to meet older men with a specific image. I grew tired of the congestion, the sweat, the stench, the long periods of waiting in line and standing around in between sets. The greats got expensive to see. The young kids started to get on my nerves something fierce.

There were a few I thought of seeing. Pearl Jam for one this past season. The thought of trying to obtain tickets and paying outrageous ticket prices and bullshit fees was exhusting just thinking about it.

Yet there remains one band that causes my heart to sink everytime I fnd out too late that they're playing nearby. One band I've never seen. One band that always sells out. One band that has been a constant influence in my life. The coolest band. Social Distortion.

This band causes envy in me. Their style, the sick girls with their tats and awesome clothes and beautiful burlesque bodies that flock to see them. The sick boys with their greased back hair and creeper sole shoes and levis and white t-shirts. It's so fake yet so beautiful.

Oh how I've wished to be a girl that Mike Ness has written a song about. I know I'm not the only one.

I was tipped off by an on again off again aquaintance that they may be touring this fall.

This morning I looked into it. Thankfully I finally have money in the bank for these spontaneous and unplanned costs.

I got two tickets to see Social Distortion 10/20 in Philly on South Street. Three days before Mike's birthday.

Mike once said when he proposed to me he would to do it at a Social D show during Footprints on my ceiling. Our song that we've sung together drunk on the way home from a car show. Our favorite line: I'm gonna marry you some day.

I think it will be a lot of fun to finally see the one band I've always wanted to see. And for Mike's birthday makes it even better. It'll be a fun night out for us.

Holy shit, I got tickets to see Social Distortion!!! Now if I can only hold off on telling him until the perfect moment......

P.S. Fuck Ticketmaster fees and surcharges costing nearly as much as the ticket

Thursday, August 17, 2006

No more second chances

I just had lunch if you could even call it that. More suiting would be that I just had 1/4 of an overpriced pile of wilted lettuce with tooth breaking croutons. I hate SaladWorks. I hate it. I went about nine months ago and hated it and thought it was overpriced. I went today for two reasons:

1. I was forced to go out to lunch which I HATE. I ran out of bread and cold-cuts and peanut butter not that I had any bread to put it on and Mike requested I not go shopping until the weekend since he had to use a lot of fridge and freezer space for Beater's bachelor party this weekend.

2. While out to buy lunch, I stopped in Urban Outfitters and spent $100 and Urban Outfitters is not meant for anyone over 130 lbs and it makes me feel all jealous and fat and gross yet creative at the same time. Since the long and baggy look is kind of in on those low neck shirts and all that, I was able to find one that probably fits.
So I purchased:
A necklace for my mom that I have that she insisted she must have too
A long, loose fitting low v-neck gray t-shirt with skulls around the collar hem. Sweet
A book - 108 ways to transform a t-shirt (For all those pesky stained, old and not fitting t-shirts)
A weird low neck red with gray hearts 60's design looking shirt from the sale rack

So I was off for somehting 'light' since I must get back on track and lose more weight.

SaladWorks is gross. First of all, who chops and washes all that stuff? Secondly, where the HELL do they get off throwing a couple handfuls of lettuce in a bowl with some broccoli and carrot and croutons and charging $6.80 for it? It was so bad. I had to toss it.

I'll never go out to lunch again unless I'm going out to lunch with a person to a restaurant. In the city, there's just too many damn choices and I am so over spending money on breakfast and lunch. I feel robbed.

Tonight's the Collingswood car show again. We'll be there.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Hey Shit Talkers

Everyone talks shit. Yesterday there was a lot of talk about our freedom, or lack thereof now that we can't even bring water on a plane, and fear spreading like the plague. Last night I was relaying some of these conversations to Mike and I was sort of rambling off on tangents and then I realized, Wow, we're doing a pretty fine job at preventing terrorism. I did not hear one person yesterday compliment UK law enforcement except Georgie Bushy who complimented Tony Blair (as if he had loads to do with the "thwarting").

But now that I think of it, I think we're actually doing a good job of this along with the rest of the world. It seems everyone is more aware. Minnesota State reported all those Egyptian guys that never showed up for school. A lot of arrests have been made and wasn't a plot or two "thwarted" earlier in the year?

I'm not ready to put my life into the hands of others but damn, we're doing all right. It's so comforting to know that someone in the Muslim community tipped off UK authorities once again proving that no, not all Muslims are terrorists. Not all Egyptians, not all Islamics, not all of any culture are trying to murder us all.

There are still good people and we must remember this. This will help fight the war on terror along with some kick ass undercover UK terror ring infiltrator. I'd like to meet that man and shake his hand and say "Hey kick ass undercover UK terror ring infiltrator, you did a fine fine job back there and as a citizen of the United States of America, I thank you for your good work, Sir." That's what I would say.

So lets can the shit talking and be proud of ourselves and our overseas neighbors and have a little faith in us. The actual war aside, we may be winning this war afterall.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

It always goes back to fear

Last night I slept beautifully with my windows cracked and ceiling fan a spinning. It was my first night in my new bedroom without it feeling like sleeping in a refrigerator. Yep, I had the A/C off twas a beautiful night. That humming white noise was replaced with the crickets and cicadas or locusts or that bug that makes that incessant hard to describe noise. It was peaceful.

What wasn't nice about it was how I got up shortly after turning out the lights to lower the windows to that point below the child safety locks and ram them back up again against said locks. This allowed for the window to remain only open about two inches forfeiting any hope my beautiful flowing curtains had of dancing that night. They lay flat bulging no more than an inch or two against the slight opening and remained that way.

Upon laying down the first time, I had images of burglars or rapists climbing onto the roof and breaking into my bedroom. I had visions of being startled awake and defenseless of the scary scarred white man in gloves who would no doubt bash my skull in with a baseball bat. Yes, this is why I lowered the windows. (Yep, I fear the white man. I said it.)

Fear. It's imbedded in me and most others. Kirk touched on this topic today when discussing the "thwarted" airplane attacks. I said I'm afraid. His advice. "Don't be."

I thought about that. Pretty shitty advice if you ask me. I mean, it's great advice, but easier said than done. This is coming from a girl who never even considered the fact that the scary noise and motion light trigger that scared her half to death could be a family of raccoons and who begged (near tears) her boyfriend not to go investigate because she had visions of him being shot in the chest by some early start burglar.

It was a family of raccoons and at least Mike investigated despite my crazy antics.

I can defend myself and say it's not so bad. I mean, afterall, I leave the living room windows open. There's a straight drop to the ground from those windows with nothing to grab onto. A thirty foot ladder would look suspicious leaning against the house.

It's bad. I know it's bad. I wanted to sleep with my windows all the way open last night but I won't even if Mike is home. Too many innocent and unsuspecting people get killed. I value my life too much now and I won't fall victim to some asshole rapist/murderer for the desire to sleep with my windows open.

I hate myself for what I'm saying but I just know it's true. I'd do it if the windows had alarms.

I think I may be worse off than some because my step dad was addicted to America's Most Wanted and A Current Affair and Unsolved Mysteries. I hated those shows but yet I couldn't turn away. I wish my mom wouldn't let me watch them. This was the age when a kid didn't have much else to do but sit and watch tv with their parents. Plus I may have wanted attention and maybe I even liked the shows. Who knows. But I watched them night after night and the effects were strong, immediate, and very long-lasting. The only part of that fear casted on me by those shows and the news that ever faded was my fear of being kidnapped. I almost gave mom a nervous breakdown with that one. That's a story for another day.

I'm sure it will resurface the day I become a momma.....and ten fold.

Thank you media, tv, government and fucking asshole chain mail sending mo'fos for my fear of leaving my windows open, flying, skyscrapers, rollercoasters (loved them when I was small), scary looking men in turbans and long robes, unmarked vans, unmarked police cars on deserted streets, people who ask me for help in parking lots, running at night, parks, woods, etc at night and MY OWN FUCKING SHADOW! Thank you, America!!!

"Don't be." hahahaha

Friday, August 04, 2006

Strange what we remember

I lived with some very bad people for a short while. In a way, they still live with me. In that place I drift to right before I fall asleep.

Last night I had a vivid recollection of a dog named Charlie. Trent and I, sick and depressed, were walking out of our apartment building into the subzero temperatures of what was the worst New Jersey winter in remembrance. It felt like dying. We were dying.

It doesn't matter where we were headed and I can't remember actually. That time is more blurry than anything else. A boy around my age was approaching the building and I felt what I felt everytime I saw a healthy lively looking person my age. I would do anything to be that way again. For a second I would stop and think that maybe this time I'd have the courage to whisper, 'Please help me' or 'Please call the police' or even 'Please call my mom'. But I never did.

A dog came bustling up behind this boy tromping through the snow appearing to have the time of his life. He ran in circles through snow piles formed by the monstrous plows around the circular drive. When called by his master in a pleasant most friendly voice, "Come on boy, come on Charlie, time to go in" Charlie stopped dead in his tracks outside the heavy glass doors as if to say, What are you? Nuts?

He turned his back to his master in a I'm turning a deaf ear to you, dad type way and scampered on over to me. He brushed his snow laden coat of hair across my knees and shins leaving white and shiny powder on my jeans. I bent down to pet his cold, wet fur. "Hello, Charlie. I like you."

I looked up at Trent at that moment and saw color in his usually gray sickly face. He was glowing. And smiling. He then came over and stooped down to be level with Charlie's face and began petting behind his ears and talking to him in a tone he had never directed at me unless he needed money or drugs or motherly comfort. He sounded nice.

Charlie's master came out and probably said something. We probably ignored him other than a quick flash of a smile. That was usually all we could muster those days. I don't know how and I don't know why but we got to talking. I imagine it had to do with something about his not knowing anyone in the building. He gave us his apartment number. I have no idea how I remembered it.

Later that evening Trent was sitting upright against the living room wall looking sad and suicidal and sick as usual.

"I miss Charlie."
"Me too," I responded. "I'm going to go for a walk."

About three minutes later I was standing one floor below mine staring at a door identical to mine except for the number wondering what I would say. It'll come to you, Mouse. I heard Charlie scampering about and then I knocked.

"May I borrow your dog?"

Charlie burst through my door like a dog would burst into a chicken coop. New new new new new new new new new new, he seemed to shout.

After two or three laps around the living room completed in about a second each, he tackled Trent who hadn't even found his feet yet and started lapping at his face. Alex came out to see the commotion and took a place near the other wall to observe and play along with Charlie.

The next twenty minutes with Charlie was the happiest we'd ever be in that apartment. The next twenty minutes with Charlie was the last time we'd ever all smile together again. Once that twenty minutes was all over, we'd all learn soon enough that bottom is much further down than we all thought.

Walking back in after returning Charlie, Trent was sitting in his previous position. Back against the blinding white wall, legs stretched out and crossed directly in front, arms crossed loosely over his lower stomach and waist. He was smiling. And crying.

"Thank you, Mouse. Thank you."
"You're welcome, Trent."









Thursday, August 03, 2006

Hyperthermia

This morning I was on the train and caught a glimpse of a newsline on the Metro that a lot of people have passed due to the heatwaves.

How do you die from heat, I wondered rather ignorantly and my inner monologue even had that argumentative tone I get. I mean, really, if you're really hot, go inside or get some water or stop doing what you're doing and take a break.

So I've been seeing different headlines all day for the same thing. That 169 + people have died so far this week or summer. Then I thought of my Michael who I always pack big bottles of water and powerade for and tell him to stay cool. We even buy several boxes of 100 ice pops that the guys keep in the freezer. You know the ones you have to cut the tip off with a scissor that the poor kids ate when their friends had the cool frozen ice cream cone things. (They went through over 300 so far this summer)

Anyway, the garage Mike works in is 110 + degrees.....most of the time, sometimes even hotter. They have to wear dickies and work boots for safety. Mike either works in that sauna or he doesn't work, therefore doesn't get paid.

When I saw that a high school football player died yesterday I decided to look into this. I've suffered heat exhaustion before but then I drank some water and took a long nap and woke up with a killer headache and then felt better. How are all these people ignoring the signs? Will Mike ignore the signs if he's being rushed by his boss?

So here are some signs to let you know that you should CHILL OUT before you drop dead from heat prostration, heat exhaustion, or hyperthermia:

1. Mental confusion (I wouldn't go by this alone. I mean, don't we all suffer from this?)
2. Muscle cramps
3. Nausea and/or vomiting

If suffereing from heat prostration or heat exhaustion, you'll most likely be sweating profusely. Continue to suffer this and your body temperature will rise to about 104 degrees. That's bad.

At 106 degrees, brain death begins and 113 degrees death is NEARLY CERTAIN.

You must drink lots of water. You sweat it all out and that's how your body cools itself (no duh) but if you don't replenish then you can't sweat anymore and that's when your body temperature will rise drastically.

If someone is suffering from heat stroke or any form thereof, they must be moved to a cool area and clothing removed to allow the heat to pass through the skin. The person can be wrapped in a cool wet towel and cold compresses should be applied to the head neck and groin. Or the person should be immersed in a cool bath. Not too cold or you can put the person in shock.

I know most of you know this, but this is pretty serious so pay attention to how you're feeling and observe one another. I'm taking this very seriously as the man I love works in such awful conditions.

So keep it cool. Word.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Three and a half hours to go.....

At 4:30 I'll walk out of this office and officially be on vacation until 7/31. I can't friggin' wait.

No, we're not going anywhere, but Mike and I planned day trips and intend to relax. We both need this. Mike more so than myself. The weather is supposed to be shitty with the exception of Monday so Monday will be beach day.

Friends are also coming to see the new house and a trip to Atlantic City is in order as well. I can't wait to cook for my guests.

The house really is home now. I like being there and cooking there and overall, it's just a pretty good place to be. My, how so much has changed. Mike and I are doing great and looking forward to a week together uninterrupted. It was so nice last night to run over to a local car show. Mike scoped out the cars as I scoped out the shops and checked out menus for some cool looking restaurants. How nice to get home and have a late dinner and just lay on the couch and bullshit until bed. That's how I thought it would be. Now it is.

So don't look for any of my lame ass comments on your blogs. I'll catch up when I get back.

P.S. Comment if you still read this shitty blog.

Thank you.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Worth the wait - Al Gore Book signing 7.18.06



Seeing Al Gore was well worth the wait but I can't quite put my finger on why. I guess I just really like him.

I got in line around 4:45 on Tuesday and sat and opened King's Dark Tower IV like I do so very often. I was about 25th in line and it was growing fast! The crowd was very mixed and very excited. I wasn't there to mingle and spread rumors about Gore running in 'o8 or discuss politics. The woman next to me got in an argument with two frat boys trying to get people to sign their petitions to help get the Green Party on the ballot next election. (Wasted votes)

I was waiting for Diana, a friend and colleague, and I had a Powerade (red of course) and an apple so I was slightly annoyed when they opened doors half an hour early due to the heat. Diana now wouldn't be able to find me and I was enjoying sitting outside.

So I mosied on in to Friends Select, a private Quaker school, and bought An Inconvenient Truth for $23.50. No one could bring in outside books and the rules were quite strict. Nothing but the book purchased at the signing would be signed, no personalization - just Al Gore's signature and no photos with Gore. (Proceeds went to Gore's organization of choice of course)

I walked into the gymnasium and walked back and forth back and forth along the impromptu maze set up with caution tape. Didn't we always just jump straight across at Great Adventure when there were no lines? We all felt quite silly. It took ten minutes to walk the length of the gymnasium.

I stood and waited for Diana and was grateful to have spotted her before my vision of the door became too poor. She cut across and we ignored the annoyed faces of those few she cut. Thank God she was there. We proceeded to stand in line until 7:15 pm when Gore finally stepped into the room and the conversation helped the time pass.

Press was in full effect asking people to open their books and gaze down affectionately as they made pretend they were reading. I took no part in that. The radio folk were there asking questions.

Gore was 15 minutes late and the doors were closed around 6:30 due to maximum occupancy at 1200. More waited outside the doors in case Gore had more time. I was happy to have done my waiting before instead of after. Once he started signing I'd be out within ten minutes and I also had front row view of him.

The crowd went wild when Gore entered and it really was pretty fun. I just like him so much. He's good people. It was nice to see him less than ten feet away. A small group began chanting "Gore '08! Gore '08!" and Gore smiled and rolled his eyes and shook his head as if to say "no way!". It was funny.

He began by saying that he knew we have been waiting a long time and that he wanted to get to everyone so he would be brief. He wasn't kidding! He spoke for 5 minutes and 50 seconds. I know because I recorded the whole thing. I plan to link the video to this blog for those interested. It wasn't a very memorable speech but feel good. It was over so fast. But it souped us up and made us cheer for him. He spoke of how the chinese symbol for crisis is also the symbol for change and yeah, you know where I'm going. I need to watch the video again. I was too focused on holding the camera steady that I wasn't listening too well.

So as soon as he was done talking he ducked behind his little table and the press covered him like ants on jelly and he started moving like lightning. It was way too fast and way to impersonal and I knew I wouldn't get a chance to tell him that I started a recycling program at work.

Diana got a photo of the back of my head with Gore and I was able to snap this photo of her with Gore before security told me to move on out.


That's her in the green.

So he signed my book while I was still a few feet away and then when I was standing in front of him, he looked up and smiled and shook my hand. All I could manage was , "Thank you". In that setting, nothing I could have said would have been memorable and I know it.

But it was fun and we both walked out very excited and kind of giddy. We went and had a drink and the conversation was changed within ten minutes but it really was pretty cool.

I went home and read some excerpts of the book to Mike who did not go see the movie with me and I am pleased to say that the book and movie are basically one in the same. The same graphs and charts and text even. It's set up like a very informative coffee table book. Even someone who had no idea what they were looking at would find themselves intrigued by the photos and the captions.

Wait - 2.5 hours

Speech - 5 minutes 50 seconds

Time in prescence of Gore between speech and signing - 10 minutes

Worth it? - Yes

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Everyone shut the hell up!

I know it's hot out. We're experiencing a heat wave. It's summer and yes, this is Global Warming. That being said, almost every single person I have met while in an elevator today or outside while smoking a cigarette is a friggin idiot and a jackass. Please, for the love of God, rack your brain for an original thought AND STOP COMMENTING ON THE DAMN WEATHER!

If you're hot, put out your cigarette and go inside or stay home. Let freon ring, baby!

I actually don't think I get it. It's hot out yes. Don't go for a run. You'll sweat your ass off but it's good for you so be sure to pull your air conditioned car over and step into your nearest icy refreshing Wawa and grab a couple bottles of water and/or Gatorade (or Powerade if you prefer) and cruise on home and kick on the AC. I know you will so stop friggin complaining. We here in the city walk a lot more than you do and I happen to enjoy the sweat. Standing underground at the train station feeling the sweat pour down my back isn't so great but I must admit, it's refreshing. Be gone, toxins!

But this is Global Warming at its finest thus far and you see, using all that damn electricity to cool yourself down ain't such a good idea. So try to be mindful and try to conserve. Put the AC on energy save mode and set it to medium or 70 degrees instead of 67. Kill the lights. You'll be cooler. If you're in a pool playing, don't spray your friends with the hose. (Hi, downstairs neighbors. That's for you.) Most of all, remember that everyone around you has their AC on too so just friggin kill any electricity you don't need so at least there's enough for all of us and we don't blow a major fuse or anything. Don't be selfish.

I hope Al comments about the weather tonight. He's allowed.

I don't know if a line has formed yet but I do know the signs directing the line are out. Tune in tomorrow for a full report on Al Gore's visit to Philly in a heat wave.

I really do like to sweat. Feels good.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Very positive update

I am refreshed, refueled and feeling very positive! Mike and I worked like dogs all this weekend on the house: yardwork, decorating, cleaning, unpacking and I can officially say that the house is done! We had a great time and for the first time, we felt like we were "home" and we are now offiicially happy and getting used to living together. And I can finally stop spending money to boot. There's freshly potted plants in the house and freshly potted flowers on the front steps and on the back deck. I like going home. All is good and right in my world. I haven't felt this way in a very very long time. Never felt this way in Philly at all. It's true. Your living environment really means everything to your emotional state.

And yesterday Mike's parents and my mom and stepdad came over together. We had coffee and my homemade, warm blueberry buckle and the men went outside to the garage for some work and the ladies stayed in and marvelled at how awesome the house looks. Their coming was all the motivation we needed. The place is so friggin cool and if I was at a guest at my house, I'd feel comfortable and think the place is pretty damn awesome. I was a little sad when we all set out to dinner. But again, not being the one with the hour plus commute still brings a smile to my face. Mike and I went home and relaxed.

Yesterday was a good day. At night, Mike and I relaxed as we're still adjusting but while I read and Mike played Madden, I didn't have that awful feeling of wasting time or failure. I can see how people can get used to be homing home and "keeping house" and getting too comfortable. I refuse to let my home and work become my life but at least now I won't feel depressed "doing nothing" at home. Sometimes all you need is to put your feet up in your own home and get into a great story. It really is wonderful.

It's 99 degrees today but yet I plan to go for a jog tonight. I can't get too comfortable. Better I start working on my "night life" now. There's still lots of hobbies to get back into and a world to make a dent of change in.

Speaking of a heat waves and making change, I'M MEETING AL GORE TOMORROW. I am so friggin excited. He is doing a book signing at the private school DIRECTLY next door to my office. It starts at 7:00 but myself and two fellow PEARS (People for Environmental Awareness and Repairation) are going over at 5:00 to get in line. We've all seen his film but none of us had boughten his book yet which is awesome because you have to buy it at the signing and all proceeds go to the cause of preventing Global Warming.

I'm hoping I'll have some pics to post.

The house pics will be up soon now that the house is done. I can't wait to show you all.

We meet Al Gore tomorrow and PEAR meets Thursday and come Friday at 4:30, I am officially on vacation until July 31st! Mike is too! We have day trips planned: Atlantic City, The Philadelphia Zoo, a day at the track with Mike's parents, a day in Long Beach Island at the beach, etc.

All is well. All is well.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

It's been a while....

My apologies for the lack of updates. I have so many photos to post but no internet access at the new place yet so they will have to wait.

Life has been hectic, exciting yet depressing at times, and I'm working on getting established into my new routine which allows for some more spontaneity. Settling in isn't always that easy I've found. A lot of events and changes all occurred at the same time and are still kind of floating in mid space. It's appropriate to say the dust hasn't settled yet.

But since my "routine" was in upheavel when all these changes and new emotions hit the fan, I've been doing a suprisingly good job at keeping it all together and not fucking up all the positive progress I've made over the past two years. I will forever need to watch my lifestyle. A couple bad nights and a little too much alcohol can throw me into a wild tailspin and I know this. I must practice restraint and moderation in all that I do forever.

I shut and locked the door on 1112 S. 7th Street, Philadelphia last Friday, 7/7/06 around 5:35 ish pm. I found myself standing in my empty bedroom longer than I had intended and it was hard to go. I stood in the center of the room and put my arms out at my sides and spun around a few times feeling the familiar hard wood floor beneath my feet. I was trying to absorb memories and emotions. I was too overwelmed to feel them. But I did feel progress was made.

Overall, the memories at 1112 aren't that memorable. The whole experience was pretty uneventful. It's what it was that is memorable. It was the fact that I packed up and moved to a city, landed a phenomenal job that I love, finally got my head on straight (well, pretty straight), found a healthier lifestyle and had time to focus on me. I changed the past two years and it was all for the better and that's what Philadelphia was to me and always will be to me. The place I grew up and became a better person in.

I love this city.

Locking the door, I peered in one more time and thanked God for all the opportunity and prayed that the next chapter of my life be even better and that I continue to grow. It was sad.

Driving down 7th Street one tear fell from my left eye and I let it dry there on my cheek. I realized that when I shut and locked that door, it felt like I was also shutting and locking the door on my freedom. The fact that I moved in with a man finally hit home. This was followed by many emotions. I think cold feet sums it all up.

I guess the bottom line is that I'll always be free. I'm not regretful of my decision, just so far it hasn't panned out to what I thought it would be. But I blame that on the house and the problems we're still trying to work out there. I just thought I'd be having more fun with Mike. But I think again I'm letting my impatience get the best of me. For now, there's work to be done and I can't rush fun in a place that's not too much fun to be in yet.

The dust is still settling I suppose.....

Friday, June 30, 2006

Recycling Update

It works!!!! If you start talking about something and then they start talking about it too, change really does happen!!!

I'm referring to a recent post about how our Building supposively recycles, i.e. the big blue paper bins, but then we found out we were being misled. Well, I started talking to some people and then they started talking then no one knew exactly what was up and the game of telephone ensued and today we were all sent an official memorandum clearing up the mess and stating that:

"As of today, any paper placed in the locked bins that are between both elevators on each floor is picked up by Recall Corporation and taken away for destruction, after the destruction everything is taken to a paper mill to be recycled."

Even better, in the list of what we can place in aforementioned bins there was colored paper, post-its, photos and manilla folders!!! It's 11:36 and there is nothing in my garbage can yet!

I am so effin' happy about this!! Even better still is that now that the memo went out, EVERYONE knows and everyone's mind has been refreshed back to recycling and now everyone is more likely to be mindful of this.

This is just the beginning.......

Speak up/Speak out.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

A message to anyone not doing anything about Global Warming

Washington D.C. is flooding, Philadelphia is flooding. The Northeast is flooding. Texas, yeah, that dry state, is flooding in areas. Rivers are pouring ashore.

This is not normal. These are direct effects of Global Warming.

The best comment I've seen so far of Al Gore's documentary, An Inconvenint Truth, is this by Roger Ebert:
"You owe it to yourself to see this film. If you do not, and you have grandchildren, you should explain to them why you decided not to."

I continue to urge everyone to see this film which is now even easier since it's been picked up by major theatres like Loews. Do it for yourself, do it for your grandchildren and do it for our Earth.

Thankfully, this issue has recently gotten a lot of press. I thank Al Gore for that. Bceause of him, the truth is getting out there and people are starting to act. The issue has once again gone to Senate. Forgive me as my research is currently at home and I am at work. But basically, there needs to be laws regulating carbon dioxide emissions. The greedy men who this might hurt the pockets of refuse to believe that carbon dioxide is in fact an issue.

Remember when our Ozone was a huge problem? You don't hear much about the Ozone anymore do you? That's because we fixed it. We can fix Global Warming as well. We just need to convince as many people as we possibly can that this issue needs fixing.

Go see An Inconvenient Truth and take as many people as you can with you. At the very least, start being more aware. I thought I was pretty good at not being wasteful. Oh man, was I wrong. I have cut my personal CO2 emissions by half. I've posted this before but here it is again:

If you'd like to see what you can do to cut your emissions, check this out.

http://www.climatecrisis.net/pdf/10things.pdf

It's a pdf file so print it out and throw it on peoples' desks (who you know won't toss it), put it on your fridge and memorize it!!

Our Earth is crying out to us. Her tears are flooding our world. Please help her and all the rest of us.

Thank you in advance for doing what's right.