Thursday, March 23, 2006


I dropped off the film yesterday. One hour photo. I didn't go back for it. I binged a little and then got sick. Not self induced sick, just body not used to half a bag of starburst jelly beans on top of smartfood cheese popcorn on top of three slices of pizza sick. (This normally only happens when something is wrong and I can't put my finger on it.)

I planned to go get the film today. I didn't.

I didn't because although the film probably didn't even come out, I'm still weary. I need to be in a good state when I go through these pics. I can't be a little stressed or feeling an itch of something wrong regardless of wether I know what it is or not.

I have spring fever I think. Yeah, it's 41 degrees but I swear to you all, my body knows it's spring and I curse my body the beginning of spring. I almost lost Mike to spring fever last year. My body and emotions get all whacky. I have these very strong desires to get drunk a lot and converse with new people. I fight it like hell. It sounds awful. But I know people who go through the same thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to go do anything stupid, but I admit I get crabby and and my content small little life just pisses me off for a week or two and then I feel better.

Butterflies are born and flowers bloom in Spring. My body goes through changes too and wants more. It really just makes me feel very small and lonely. My imagination runs even wilder than it already does and I can't get lost in a thought for one second without me being something more than nothing in my head. My daydreams rock! I rock in my daydreams!

I really am going to get the film Monday.

Anyone else go through this change of season shit? It really sucks. I do feel better though. I guess because I rubbed my finger against it.

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