Plagiarism

I didn't write that last post about the Simpsons movie. I copied it from Oh No They Didn't for my Simpson loving friends.

In case you didn't know....

"Simpsons Movie!"
We've known it's been coming, but we didn't expect a trailer NOW, or for a release date to be so soon! Now, I don't really like the show anymore but when it was good it was GREAT. The idea of The Simpsons on the big screen still gets my motor running.Aintitcoolnews.com broke the story this morning. It seems that 20th Century Fox slipped the teaser trailer before Ice Age 2 (which I would never go pay money to see). So quiet about it.Via Aintitcoolnews:After the Audience sits through the trailer for 'Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties' (Wasn't that an old WB cartoon with Tweety?), they will be treated to a camera roving over the ol' 'S' shield, before zooming out, showing Homer sitting on the couch, watching TV, wearing the 'Supes' shirt.So far, the film is just called 'Simpsons: The Movie,' and has a planned release date of July 27, 2007.If anyone sees Ice Age, confirm or deny.

SOURCE: aintitcoolnews.com

Rant

First of all, I really dislike CNN's somewhat new format. I just kept forgetting to mention it. I also dislike that almost half the stories can only be watched and not read. I'm at work, I can't be watching the news on my computer. I like to read the stories. Today, three million dollars worth of cocaine found smuggled into NY from Mexico in .....wait for it......Virgin Mary tombstones. Nice. A lot of people are going to hell. Can it get any more sacreligious? Last time a drug ring was interrupted, the drugs were surgically implanted in....wait for it......PUPPIES! I thought puppies were one of the last few things that would make even Charles Manson's heart melt. Nope. The end is near. How much more will God stand before he deems us all a failed experiment and wipes us all out and starts over. Like the Matrix. Yeah, I said it.

Now onto second breakfast. "Well, we've had one yes. But what about second breakfast?" Love LoTR. Anyhow, I had two breakfasts this morning. Chalk it up to being really early (time to kill) and not smoking. Who knows. My point is second breakfast consisted of a grande non fat extra hot white chocolate mocha no whip and a pumpkin scone from Starbucks. It was great.

Felt a little gross afterwards (scone, chocolate, CNN news) so I decided to investigate the damage and headed on over to the Starbucks site for some nutrition information.

My scone came to 11 WW Points and my NONFAT NO WHIP white chocolate mocha came out to 7 WW Points. Second breakfast equalled 18 points. I'm only allowed 22 for the entire day. I am the average weight of Americans. That means that the average sized American should only consume 22 points in one day.

Think about this. Think of the amount of people you know who have a scone or muffin and a venti cappuccino drink with fatty milk EVERYDAY for breakfast. In that one "meal" they consume in transit and barely even get to enjoy, they actually consume what the government and every nutrition fact in the country says they should consume in an entire day! And people still wonder why Americans are so obese. It should be illegal to put 24 grams of fat in a breakfast scone. Disgusting.

I really do believe that American youth are so fucked up in part due to this nutrition cluster fuck. This is part of the reason why I'm trying to get healthy now. The healthier I am, I believe the healthier my make believe child will be.

Side note: I told Mike the other day I would rather die without having experienced motherhood than bear a child without making a combined income of $100,000/year or without living in a CLEAN relatively safe environment with an excellent school disrict. Basically, no children in NJ unless I can afford the few very nice towns. I have terrible anxiety and I'm a nervous wreck. I actually don't think I'd make a good mom. I'm afraid I'd make my child afraid of the world instead of teach him to embrace it and change what he doesn't like about it. Other than that, I'd make a great mom. But I am a nervous wreck. It's a dangerous world out there. I don't live in a nice enough place to forget it. I live amongst crime and homelessness and one of the worst school districts in the country. I don't see the good.

Nothing

My body was so ill last night but I felt fine so I was pretty confused and didn't know what to do. I looked up my symptoms on Webmd to no avail. I highly doubt I have/had any of the seven causes. I decided to go to bed but not before praying to God I didn't die in my sleep.

I didn't die in my sleep.

The photos suck. I was sooooo ugly when I was 15. No wonder my life sucked. Short hair on me is the worst and I really did look like a boy. I think I'm pretty decent looking now. Finally. Now I actually like looking like a woman. It helps.

So all I really have on the brain is cooking. I plan to finish Julie & Julia in this park I really like and walk through every day to and from work. I will stop there and read. Maybe get an iced coffee. I hear it's "hot" out. I bet it's beautiful. I haven't stepped off this seventh floor since 8:15 this morning. Trying not to smoke. Outside is bad during the day. I wish we couldn't smoke within 25 feet of a door in which someone goes through to work. Makes life much easier. But really, what happens to a smoker in Washington who is smoking within 25 feet of said designated non smoking area? Some dirty looks, possibly a security guard will tell them to scram. Really, I very highly doubt every smoker is abiding this law. And I hope the police have better things to do than to ticket offenders....unless they're right there. I get mad when cops don't do their job when theye're RIGHT THERE AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME! Laziness. I think cops are some of the laziest people around.

Before the old photo post

(Written Monday)
I picked up my first old roll of fim today as promised. It rang up $3.69 so I knew I was screwed. I felt like Forrest Gump shrimp boatin'. "I only caught five." I only got six pictures. They pathetically slid out of the orange and black paper sleeve. A notion so like my pathetic teenage years.

Fifteen was my age. Four photos from a trip I took with my nemesis' family, 2 of her, 2 of me, a picture of my buddy Mark (still see), and a picture of some guy who I don't know at Menlo Park Mall. More details and the photos tomorrow. For now, new pictures. (P.S. I do have a bit to say about those photos so stay tuned.)

Potachos at Stuff yer Face. Not quite nachos but potachos. Fried thick potato slices smothered in ketchup, cheese and sour cream. Oh My Goodness! Delish! (I gained weight this weekend.)

Me at Stuff Yer Face. (I had never been before.)

Mike at Stuff Yer Face watching the B Ball game.

Top 4 Jokes

For those of you I have never actually spoken to, my voice may surprise you. I can't describe it. It's my voice. I sound like a child. My nickname is Minnie. I'm 23 years old but telemarketers still ask to speak to my mommy or daddy when I answer a phone. It's ok when I'm angry. My friends are surprised to hear me sound normal when I rant. When I get excited, oh God, just get out of the room. I've been teased my entire life.

Best 4 Jessica's voice bashing jokes to date: (Eh to best)

4. Mike high as hell one night several months ago (Too bad he was serious)

"Um, Jess, your voice sounds like a dentist drill." I was mid-story when he chimed in with that one.

3. Me high as hell several months ago with Randy (Too bad I was serious.)

Randy: "You're awfully quiet when you're high."
Me: "Yeah. When I'm high I can hear the true sound of my own voice."

I didn't mean it to be funny but I thought Randy's heart was going to stop from laughter.

2. Saturday night. Local crew hangout. I stuck my finger in Randy's belly button through his shirt and commented I fingered his hole. He said he fingered my hole the night he slept over a few months ago. (I know. Stupid.)

Me: "I must have had my beer goggles on."
Randy: "I must have had my ear muffs on."

1. Drum role please. Three weeks ago, local crew hangout. I spent the day with Randy while he got inked up and Mike and I were waiting for him at the bar with friends to see how he was feeling. Randy walks in and is there for no more than five seconds.

Tracy: "Hey Randy, did it hurt?"
Randy: "Almost as bad as Jess singing a cappella."

Randy can make that entire bar laugh at my expense. Mike smiles and shoots me a very sympathetic affectionate smile.

What can I say? Everyone loves me.

Here's the asshole, Randy and me on St. Patty's Day. I just successfully chugged my first Irish Car Bomb.

Me

I painted my nails red last night. I was very very patient and let them dry for a very long time. I have the worst luck in the world with painted nails. I went to bed and woke up this morning to air bubbles and sheet smudges and two are already chipped. I hate painted nails. They really look very bad already. I let them dry for two friggin' hours.

I feel much better than I did last night. I talked to Mike on the phone for about an hour which is a lot for us. We don't very much like talking on the phone. It was fun....like being a teenager again. We normally just talk about ten times for no more than a few minutes each time.

My weekends in Jersey revolve around Mike's, my mom's and his mom's schedules. It really sucks. I decided tomorrow is going to be all about me and if I'm having a ball, I'm not going to stop everything to be home by the time Mike gets home. I won't be very late but I also won't watch the clock. My weekends aren't very relaxing and I don't want to go into this whole moving thing with stress. I think I'll go to this old coffeehouse that looks like a castle in Montclair and sit on an old worn in and worn out couch and smoke a whole lot of cigarettes and drink way too many vanilla type coffee drinks and finish Julie & Julia. This occasion calls for vans, levi's and a hoodie.

Changes

I dropped off the film yesterday. One hour photo. I didn't go back for it. I binged a little and then got sick. Not self induced sick, just body not used to half a bag of starburst jelly beans on top of smartfood cheese popcorn on top of three slices of pizza sick. (This normally only happens when something is wrong and I can't put my finger on it.)

I planned to go get the film today. I didn't.

I didn't because although the film probably didn't even come out, I'm still weary. I need to be in a good state when I go through these pics. I can't be a little stressed or feeling an itch of something wrong regardless of wether I know what it is or not.

I have spring fever I think. Yeah, it's 41 degrees but I swear to you all, my body knows it's spring and I curse my body the beginning of spring. I almost lost Mike to spring fever last year. My body and emotions get all whacky. I have these very strong desires to get drunk a lot and converse with new people. I fight it like hell. It sounds awful. But I know people who go through the same thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to go do anything stupid, but I admit I get crabby and and my content small little life just pisses me off for a week or two and then I feel better.

Butterflies are born and flowers bloom in Spring. My body goes through changes too and wants more. It really just makes me feel very small and lonely. My imagination runs even wilder than it already does and I can't get lost in a thought for one second without me being something more than nothing in my head. My daydreams rock! I rock in my daydreams!

I really am going to get the film Monday.

Anyone else go through this change of season shit? It really sucks. I do feel better though. I guess because I rubbed my finger against it.

Extra Extra Read all About it! We're excited ova here!

Who knew my latest revelation would cause such a stir. I should have given my blog a purpose ages ago. I'm still sifting through the e-mail!

One excited reader (well, not really) thinks that I should post a picture and let my other excited readers (just kidding) make up the stories. I think that's a great idea. However, I can't ask so much of my loyal fans. I will ask however that you please comment in with your funny captions for the photo and I'll be so happy to post them on in (especially the best one) for everyone's viewing pleasure. Hey, maybe I'll even post a few pictures from every roll. Afterall, I decided one roll per paycheck so one roll has to last us two weeks of fun!

So lets all poke fun at my childhood and all the people I hate trapped inside those tiny black rolls of film. Lets unleash the demons damnit!

I guess now would be a good time to figure out how to scan a picture. Never done that before. I do have a scanner/copier/printer though so I should be able to. Feel free to comment instructions for me like where the photo will wind up once I hit scan on the scanner.

Boring Update:
As of today my new total weight loss is 16.2 pounds. I feel gross even though I'm down from last week. Oh well. It will pass.

Book Update:
Self Made Man sucks and I finally had to shelve it. I thought it would be funny and interesting and it was interesting for a while until she decided to take her whole 'project' way too seriously and decided to write a 300 page essay instead of a story. It was actually kind of depressing at times. I made it a good half way through and said to hell with it. I'll still go to the book club discussion.

Julie & Julia is so friggin good. I love it. I can't put it down and I enjoy reading it and I'm having fun with it. This is also a memoir. A woman pushing 30 living in a shit loft in Long Island City, NY, with a shitty job and on the brink of a nervous breakdown everyday pushes herself, her marriage, and her sanity to the limits when she decides she will make all 524 Julia Child recipes in Mastering the Art of French Cooking in 365 days. I like it.

Once again, like so many other memoirs I've read recently, Julie started blogging when she started this mess of cooking. She gathered a fan base, documented it all in her blog and then when she was done, wrote a book about it. Hmmm, maybe I'll do that with my photo/memory/childhood/demon - writing/bashing. Just kiddin. I know it might not be very interesting.

But we'll find out won't we! (I'm gonna drop off the first role today. Aww shit.)

A Grand Idea

I've got a brown thinning crinkly lunch bag full of undeveloped film. It's been in my antique trunk for years. I find other rolls of film and throw them in one of those clear storage containers I've been meaning to organize since I've moved to Philly. I've made headway but there's always that weird stuff you just can't get rid of or just have no idea where to put. I need to get the contents of my junk container down to the size of a junk drawer.

I'm scared to death of that undeveloped film. It's been a rough fourteen years. Who knows what can be on there! There are some things I choose not to remember and some people I rather not see the smiling faces of. I don't know if the film really goes back fourteen years but I do know it goes back at least nine. Selecting a roll out of the bag will be like russian roulette.

But here I am declaring that I will (and I just thought of this this very second) get one roll of film developed per paycheck AND post one picture from said roll onto this here blog AND write a factual corresponding story to the picture. It will be like therapy. Maybe this won't be so bad afterall.

I have to get the damn rolls developed anyway even if just out of fear of being like the moms who have undeveloped rolls twenty years old.

I can do this!

St. Pattys Day story

The good news is that I will no longer burden this blog and my readers with my stresses of house hunting or any of those benign and boring moving details. We got the house and we sign our lease April 2.

Happy St. Patricks Day. I feel so obligated to drink but cannot afford to so Mike and I will stay home tonight and eat corned beef and talk with his parents about the move. (They don't think it's boring.)

My first memorable experience with corned beef occurred at age 15. I worked at an icecream/italian ice (it was called italian ice there not water ice!) shop with another fifteen old named Joanne with no supervision whatsoever and many a joints were smoked in the bathroom. It was fun. Anyhow, we became friends by default and she was pretty cool now that I think of her.

So we met up at her house on St. Patty's Day and two or three of her girl friends joined us and I recall her parents weren't home but her crazy smelly mean old aunt was. I can't recall where the beer came from nor what brand for that matter. (I imagine it was either a. really cheap shit or b. some form of Bud because what other brands do a bunch of fifteen year old girls know? Well, besides Colt 45. Ick)

Joanne was a beach and boardwalk gal and what 15 year old boardwalk gal doesn't own a blindingly neon beer funnel? I know I never did. The amount of alcohol consumption was alarming. Shirts were changed more than twice due to funnel spillage and many heads were bumped falling off the bed. Five girls in an incredibly tiny room, one beer funnel, five hours, two cases of beer. Yikes. Vomiting ensued. Old man aunt would pop in and in her smokers man voice yell, "Are you girls drinking!" Five responses all in perfect timing, "No, Aunt Marge" like a bunch of grammar school children saying good morning to their teacher.

So after we all vomited many many times, miraculously, we felt great. More drinking followed. How do I link this to corn beef. When five fifteen year old girls emerge from a tiny room after several hours of drinking, vomiting, and more drinking, you don't want them in your kitchen. They'll eat your shoes if they're not tied to your feet.

There it was, a beautiful corned beef. I had never recalled trying it before but the girls started picking at it with their hands and I thought it looked like fun; the way you could just peel it off and pick at it like string cheese. Damn it tasted good. So....we ate the whole thing. And got in a world of trouble for it. How were we supposed to know it took five hours to make and Joanne's dad had been looking forward to it all month?

Woops.

Crying like a little kid with a skinned knee

So winter came back today to kick spring's butt for treading where it didn't belong. Spring ran off like a whiny little baby and winter turned the tears to ice and it snowed for a little while. The wind will make direct attempts on my life so I haven't bothered to smoke today or go outside for that matter. I took the bus and subway this morning. These days aren't made for walking.

So as of this morning, I've lost 15.6 lbs since January 2005 and I'm super excited. I lost 1.2 lbs since last Wednesday. It's been a slow grueling journey but I'm still ahead. I know this isn't very exciting.

Other than that, I'm really stressed and my left shoulder around to my back is killing me and I've slept like complete grabage the past two nights which is odd for me.

Tomorrow's the big day and Mike called me today just to let me know he is "excited." Mike's never once said he was excited about anything. Normally it's just, "Hey, Mike, I'm so excited. Are you excited?" "Yeah, sure."

Project Runway is over and Top Chef has taken its slot so I'll watch it at 10:00 tonight. It's not so bad. I caught the premiere rerun over the weekend and I'm so glad the biggest asshole got the chop the first episode. There's a line between keeping the jerk on for ratings and drama and the jerk hurting your ratings. I would have never watched the show again if they kept that one dude on. I'm glad they realized he crossed the line. (We all remember how Santino only lasted as long as he did because he was 'Project Runway'.) He worked the line.

Knock on wood

A quick update (please don't jinx me, update)

My angels were most certainly with me last night when I went to check out a duplex. My realtor never showed but magically, the owner did. I asked him some questions and he took a liking to me right away and I knew if I just put on the right amount of charm, we'd be able to work something out so he'd hold the place until June for Mike and I. (At first, he said no way; he couldn't go without money that long.)

(I'm jumping around to make this intensely long story short for those of you who are intimidated by text. Ahem.)

The house is in an actual neighborhood with lots of streets and kids playing hockey a few houses down and a park with trails and a river and people walking around. Five minutes down the larger road (a two lane long weaving road, by no means a highway) are multi million dollar homes. Amazinginly gorgeous. Past those houses the road turns into historic Haddonfield (the town I wanted to live in), coffee houses and boutiques and ice cream shops and candy stores and everything I love. All I kept picturing was having family & friends over and then taking them for a stroll through the town on a cool summer night.

So he showed me the place. Is it perfect? No. Is it perfect for what we'd pay for it and does it meet all our requirements but a dishwasher? Yes.

The kitchen is brand new with plastic still on the fridge, brand new granite countertops, a brand new stove (the flat stovetop; so easy to clean), and brand new cabinets in a very nice color.

We have an attic, heat and water is included (we only pay electric and cable). We're on the top floor and there is a nice deck right off our back kitchen door so we can dine al fresco. Stairs lead down to the garage there. We'll have a backyard and in it is a large rectangular fenced in area for a dog. The driveway is very long and goes up behind the house and the garage is 1.5 times wide so Mike can fit a car perfectly and storage and a workbench and tool chests on the side. The bottom floor has their own driveway on the other side of the house and their property is seperated by ours by another fence. Basically, they will never have a need to walk up our driveway or set foot near our stairs by our front door or our back door.

One more highlight: The highways Mike and I need to take to get to our jobs are a nine minute car ride away. The train station is eight minutes away. At one side of us but a good fifteen minute drive is Haddonfield and on the other side Collingswood. I'm dead center between the two towns I wanted to live in.

Ok ok, so I won't go through the dealmaking process here but I told the realtor when she finally called to say she was lost that I didn't like the house and Joe, the owner, is going to tell her he doesn't want to work with her anymore and Mike and I will makepayments on the security through April and May and we'll move in June 1st.

Mike and I are going to look at it together Thursday night and go over the details. Mike is so excited by the million things I told him last night and I really think he's gonna love it.

I am so petrified the shoe's gonna drop. Please do whatever it is you do when you hope for the best for someone.

When the cat's away......

....the mice will play. I haven't done any work yet today and I'm enjoying it. I did talk to my realtor though and I am going to check out a place tonight. Mike looked over the 15 listings with me last night and picked out three maybes.

Weekend was good. I spent a lot of time with my boy, Randy, whose bitchy boozer girlfriend broke up with him. He's very sad. We spent a decent part of Saturday going through hundreds and hundreds of fonts for his new tattoo and haggling with tattoo artists. When I broke up with people or vice versa, I would dye and cut my hair. Randy gets tats.

After sitting around watching Randy finally get ink, (meanwhile, Mike had joined the picture) Mike and I were exhausted and had one beer at our bar while waiting for Randy. We bounced and on the way home I talked about how it's been so long since we just sat a bar together without friends and just talked and got drunk. Well, we ended up doing that and it was just awesome. Talking and talking and dreaming a bit and being silly and cute and doing shots together and smiling. Once every so often, I just love that.

Gorgeous

It is a remarkable 75 degrees outside and I am very much looking forward to getting out of here and opening the sunroof on my new car for my trip to Jersey.

My better judgement tells me that we have yet to see the last of winter but I'm hoping I missed my chance to say fuck you and farewell.

I'm going jogging Sunday morning with P. and I saw a new number on the scale this morning that I haven't seen so far. I'm very pleased. I took second place in this stage's Biggest Loser challenge and don't feel bad being beaten by a good friend of mine.

I'll have to somehow sucker Mike into sitting with me outside a coffee house this weekend.

Have a good weekend, folks.

The Last Stand

Wow. Check out TWO trailers for X3 The Last Stand here.

5.26.06, kids. Two days after my 24th Birfday.

Highlights

Thank goodness for Fridays. I'm all packed and ready for bed. I'm sore as hell having speed walked home the past three days trying to remain conscience enough to remember to squeeze my buttocks with every step. Damn does my ass hurt.

I'm still super stressed about the move. My realtor e-mailed me 15 listings today. None of which meet my specifications. I don't want to piss her off by thanking her for not sending me anything I requested. It's like shopping for a car. On the phone they tell you they have exactly what you want and then they try to sell you everything else when you get there. I don't have the patience for that shit. I hope my diamond in the ruff turns up.

Money's tight. Real tight. I planned out mine and Mike's meal menu for the weekend and since I did my mom's grocery shopping last week, I know what she's got and plan to take advantage of my day with her Saturday. I've been spending my weekends with her while Mike's at work trying to help her get her life together. It's the ultimate excercise in patience and it's hard not to be weak and break down. One of us has to hold it together so I do my best and help as best I can. It's strange, but cleaning her house feels good; like I'm tidying up my childhood.

Totally different subject:

I'm perplexed by internet D-list celebrities. I somehow stumbled across a feud between a Chicago blogger (I feel no need to link him here) and a guy in a shitty emo band. Fall Out Boy (perhaps you've heard of them.) Anyhow, this 'feud' has gotten a lot of buzz and now this guy Chris in Chicago is like the ultimate stick it to you, punk rock internet blogger celebrity. My point is, he wrote this book of short stories and you can buy it for ten bucks and he's selling a hell of a lot of them. What the fuck. This guy gets insane popular over the internet and sells his book just for voicing his opinion and getting in a fight with Pete Wentz. The guy gets hundreds of comments on every word he writes and I can't ever seem to make it past the first five and they're all the same and it amazes me how stupid people are. Yeah, I check it out, but there's people hanging on this shit and internet obsession blows my fucking mind! Then pictures of Pete Wentz's penis turn up and Chicago guy has to block hundreds of instant messages and he feels like the shit (even though he has nothing to do with the pics.) Yeah, I'm the asshole for writing about this but I'm just so confused by it. People literally live on the internet. It's gross. Now this fucker in Chicago gets to sell his book to pre pubescent teens aka 'lurkers' because he's just as dumb as the rest of them. It's amazing what people spend time on. I'm referring to the kids obsessed with this shit. Oh yeah, and how Chicago guy just talks shit about everyone and all these 'lurkers' just keep going back for more. It's a strange phenomenom to observe.

P.S. I think I'll name my kid Logan after Wolverine because Wolverine is the shit. I haven't seen the trailer for The Last Stand yet but it was released yesterday. I'm gonna go check it out.

Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire released today on DVD in its usual two versions. Mike just called to inform me he has safely returned home with two copies of the special edition dual disc DVD's. One for me and one for my mom.

It sucks I can't watch it today. But hey, being broke sucks too. This is also the first year in several I will not be attending the Philadelphia Flower Show. Another regrettable instance. The things we sacrifice for cars and the people we love.

My roommate got in yet another bike accident today. A broken finger and a cracked tooth. He was rear ended by a guy and he flipped over his handlebars. I get pretty annoyed when people tell me they don't wear helmets because they can do more harm than good. This is true, but probably in a very small percent of accidents. He'd be better off just saying helmets don't look cool.

But I've seen Frogg ride his bike and although a bicyclist is a bicyclist, Frogg's overweight and by default way slower and less limber. He really shouldn't be riding alongside traffic and in and out of it like the hot messenger guys. My other roommate, a female and even more overweight, is just downright inconsiderate to cars and a 'dreamy' bicyclist.

I give motorcycles and bikes the utmost attention and respect when driving, but damnit, they should do me the same and most often do. Thea is more so the type of bicyclist who goes really really slow in the middle of a one way street while cars just back up behind her and she feels she has the right of way and blah blah blah. I want to hit those people too.

Anyhow, I don't have anything against overweight people, but ya know, they can't do everything their skinny counterparts do.

I must give them kudos though for doing something I won't. You won't see me cruising through traffic around City Hall. I walk.

New restaurante

It is so nice tip toeing through a quiet house at 6:10 am on Monday mornings again carrying way too much stuff doing my best not to 'crinkle' bags and bang my giant duffle bag against anyone else's bedroom door on the way to my room. I manage to get my own door open and love being pleasantly surprised with how I left it.

It's a nice feeling. A clean room that is. Especially after an hour and a half drive and usually I can mange a twenty minute power nap before shower time.

The weekend was ok. I spent a lot of time with my mom, did some serious cooking and cleaning and made a semi-homemade cake that was banging! I'm a fan of using cake mixes but adding stuff to them to make a home-made-ish type cake that does not require icing to taste 'decent'. This had pudding and apples in it and I served it warm with with vanilla bean ice cream and dulce de leche over top. Yummy.

Mike and I had fun and hit up a brand new restaurant Friday night. Upon leaving I had visions of writing a review for the place. That came and went. However, if ever in Jersey, be sure to go to the Skylark Diner which is not a diner at all. (Route 1 North in Edison) The design, furniture, lighting fixtures will blow your mind. The food was absolutley amazing and fresh and the menu was almost too big but nothing you will find in a traditional diner. For example, no wings but spicy asian egg rolls served with blue cheese yogurt. Instead of a plain old cheeseburger, tour the country and pick out any region's own masterpiece. (I almost got the fog city burger but can't remember why it stood out.)

Have a beer or martini in the lounge, retro atomic style shaped bar, brightly colored bar stools, retro lighting fixtures galore. The tile and mosaic work is so cool to look at it. The music was tolerable, flat tv's scattered the walls at time showing the kitchen, sometimes a movie, sometimes the making of the restaurant.

The service was unforgettable and managers every few feet catering to your every need, checking coats, saying hello, assisting hosts and wait staff. I enjoyed observing.

The cost:

Bar:
2 yuenglings plus tip - $10.00
Dinner:
2 sodas, 2 cups deliciously creamy and hot seafood chowder with giant loster pieces, 1 grilled chicken sandwich on rosemary foccacia bread with melted brie and pesto spread with a greens salad, one italian style mozzarella burger with crispy french fries plus tip - $30.00

Trying out an awesome brand new restaurant with Mike - Priceless

The entrees were a bit more of course but damn, did I want one. Next time. After watching so many shows on the Food Network about not only cooking, but restaurant opening, I had a blast going somewhere new. This is new for NJ no doubt but I read on the diners website that their goal is to bring a more upscale quality american cuisine to NJ and give us somewhere new to go. My first thought was hey, this is hip and even swanky but not so much that anyone would feel 'uncomfortable' or out of place.

I highly recommend it.

A Shameful promotion

Damn, I thought what Kirk had for lunch last week was nasty, but Steve has set a whole new low.

For your entertaining pleasure, I recommed to you Steve, Don't Eat It. Thanks to Kirk's friend who brought this masterpiece in nastiness to his attention and then Kirk for bringing it to mine.

In terms of writing alone, you'd think Steve is a good writer; intelligent, witty and a great player of words. But in terms of what he writes about, what a fucking jackass.

Eating things I can't understand were ever even packaged let alone put on supermarket shelves for human consumption, Steve is saying F YOU to his tastebuds.

Checking ingredients for 'smokers lung', trying out a chocolate flavored version of his wife's breat milk, and trying something super nasty that have nestled in this mound of compost [a] li'l packet of mustard. In its place I would strongly recommend a written apology. Yeah, he had that to say amongst other things about the fermented soy beans.

So do check it out. But, um, not while you're eating. Or your lunch might soon look like something Steve shouldn't eat.

My new automobile

There she is! Isn't she a beaut?


I got so excited when I saw, ah hem, bought her that I forgot to see what kind she is.

I'll have a hot rod one day. Afterall, my boyfriend is a mechanic and obsessed with having one himself. I pull the wifey card and say quite matter of factly in my high pitched voice, 'What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine.' (I also like to remind him that I am responsible for having gotten him into hot rods and I am the one who informs him of the car shows and swap meets.) He doesn't like that.

Anyhow, as corney as it sounds, we'd like his and hers rods. Matching but opposite matching. I want mine primer black with red and white retro diner interior with subtle cherries painted on the fender. I'd like a '40 Ford scoop back but I'll take anything but a '53 Chevy. I'm sick to death of Chevys especially that year. They're every two feet. Mike just called now to say he saw a Chevy on a back road today and he wants me to go with him Friday night to look at it. Mike has had me peer through many a rusty fence to gaze upon the junk yard beauts.

It'll be fun parking them side by side at shows. Of course I'll buy outfits to match my car!!! Geez Louise!

Mike trying to be tough:

This plankton isn't trying to steal the Crabby Patty secret formula

My eyes are tired and my neck is sore. I was near tears with unanswerable questions racing through my head on the way home, but I made it, slid into my night clothes and had dinner.

I feel better now. There's just so much I don't understand and wish was different and I really don't know what I can do but try to be a good person but the truth is, I really just don't like this world.

I don't like all the sarcasm. Why can't we just be honest and considerate. Sarcasm is so ugly to me and I don't take it well. Many a time have I looked naive, overly sensitive, or as so many people say, "awwww, you're so cute when people pick on you." I just sort of look down and say "oh".

I know there is nothing to be done about how far we've come technologically and I guess that's a good thing but I don't like cell phones, I detest text messaging and I would really like a hand written letter sent through the USPS. Can't we still be just a little old school?

I hate traffic and I hate highways. There's a toy that's on display at Kay Bee toys and other places. It's a little truck in a 2x2 box and the box has short sides. The truck drives until it hits a wall, flips over and drives to the other wall, flips over and drives to another wall and so on and so forth. Maybe because I'm from Jersey and live in a city now and haven't been many places but I feel like that little toy truck when it comes to highways. Talking with Frogg last night I said I did not want to move to Cherry Hill because I don't think I'd be able to run very far without hitting a highway. His response, "Yeah, Cherry Hill is huge but all highway."

Where are the little towns with parks and schools and kids playing outside, where is there no traffic? I haven't seen children play outside for some time. Some people say it's not safe. Some say there's too much entertainment indoors with videogames and television. I spent most my childhood outside unless I was inside playing diner or house.

Why do some people still think it's alright to massacre baby seals? Why do I have to pay so much money to park on a street 1.2 miles from where I work? My other option, to walk which I do when it's over 37 degrees, or take public transportation. But why do people think it's ok to yell and curse at a bus stop even when children are only a foot away? And why am I no longer allowed to say, "Excuse me, there are children present," without possibly getting hurt or screamed and cursed at myself?

I just feel so helpless and stressed and unhappy. I feel like a piece of microscoptic plankton in the ocean. I don't want to bring children into this world and I really want to be a mommy. I've said it a million times; I really need to start working on my dreams. I need to get somewhere safer if I'm to be a mommy. I know there's still good places out there. I also know there's still good people. I just wish the news told us about them sometimes. I really think we forget about the good when all we see is bad.

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait, no, nevermind

So I finally got fed up and called a real estate agent. I did not do this sooner because I thought using an agent would cost me a fortune. Little do I know. For only a $20 application fee, Krista, my new agent, will find me what I'm looking for. "Oh, there's lots of houses for rent in your price range and where you want to live. I'll send something over to you by the end of the day."

Halleluljah! The angels sang and the sun shined and a weight was lifted. I'm all ready to sit back and have a margarita and celebrate my reprieve from hunting and kick back. Yes? No.

So about ten minutes later, (mind you, I had already called Mike and told him the great news) I get an e-mail from Krista with four locations.

None are in Haddonfield or Collingswood and none of them do anything for me. I write her back and choose my words perfectly. I thank her and ask her two questions about one location. I offer her a list of more specific requirements to "guide you in your search." I inform her that "I very much look forward to hearing from you again soon and that hopefully some locations in Collingswood or Haddonfield pop up."

Mike tells me to drive by the one that was decent. They all have garages so he's happy. (Required)

Should I put my faith in Krista, call another agent, stop even thinking about it until April at least, keep hunting or all of the above?

Anxious as hell

I cannot find one house for rent in either Collingswood or Haddonfield, NJ nor one aprtment not in some sort of a high rise with shared laundry facilities. I know I shouldn't start worrying about where I'll be moving on June 1st until April 1st but I can't help it.

Mike and I need two bedrooms, a garage, a dishwasher, and a washer and dryer in the house/apt. That's it. This is so hard!!! One sight has a bunch of rental houses in Cherry Hill for a great price but I can't get any details on the houses until I pay to subscribe and I don't want to do that yet and I don't want to live in Cherry Hill.

There have got to be rental houses in Collingswood and Haddonfield. I've searched and searched and I just can't find anything!!!!

Does anyone have any advice or recommendations? I could really use some direction. This has been going on for two months now and I am no closer to having any clue where I'd like to move to. I've looked at over thirty websites. I don't want the high rises with constant occupancy, I'm looking for the little off the beaten path of internet traffic places.